Company of Heroes: Eastern Front

Other discussions (Read-Only) => Off Topic => Topic started by: ford_prefect on December 02, 2009, 12:49:28 AM

Title: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 02, 2009, 12:49:28 AM: Well I was joking around with my friend and we came up with some pretty good "In Soviet Russia" jokes I was just wondering if you guys had any funny ones ;D

In Soviet Russia Road forks you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Loupblanc on December 02, 2009, 03:59:48 AM: Ooh, I'm interested :) Do tell me more ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 02, 2009, 04:23:46 AM: Quote from: Loupblanc on December 02, 2009, 03:59:48 AM

Ooh, I'm interested :) Do tell me more ;)
no no I was wondering if YOU guys had any good ones
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Loupblanc on December 02, 2009, 11:14:39 PM: Hmm, as a matter of fact, I don't :p
Must work on fixing that, though
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Voop_Bakon on December 02, 2009, 11:31:38 PM: You have the internet, so by association you have thousands of "In soviet russia" jokes on hand
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Loupblanc on December 02, 2009, 11:47:01 PM: But I am french :(
Therefore I am not smart enough to go look any of them up :(
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 02, 2009, 11:49:20 PM: Quote from: Loupblanc on December 02, 2009, 11:47:01 PM

But I am french :(
Therefore I am not smart enough to go look any of them up :(
Loup your just giving us more reasons to make fun of you and France ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Loupblanc on December 03, 2009, 04:38:22 AM: Actually, I am not from france.
From Aberdeen, Scotland. Great Britain :)
I just speak french is all. Speak with a deep scotsman brogue
as well ;) So, meh

Laugh at me for being from Great Britain all you want

... aren't we getting off topic? ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Voop_Bakon on December 03, 2009, 05:01:03 AM: Yah, you tend to do that Loup
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Loupblanc on December 04, 2009, 12:20:58 AM: He started it!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 04, 2009, 12:22:14 AM: Does any one have a Russia joke?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on December 04, 2009, 07:25:44 PM: The thirties, the meeting of the Politburo. Stalin said:
- I have two suggestions: the first - let's shoot all of the Politburo, the second - let's repainted the Kremlin in green.
Everyone is silent, but suddenly, a young Communist asks:
- Comrade Stalin, but why is green?
- As I thought, there are no objection about the first suggestion.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 04, 2009, 08:31:00 PM: Quote from: UeArtemis on December 04, 2009, 07:25:44 PM
The thirties, the meeting of the Politburo. Stalin said:
- I have two suggestions: the first - let's shoot all of the Politburo, the second - let's repainted the Kremlin in green.
Everyone is silent, but suddenly, a young Communist asks:
- Comrade Stalin, but why is green?
- As I thought, there are no objection about the first suggestion.
That's good did he really say that?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on December 04, 2009, 08:45:30 PM: No, it is an anecdote (Eastern Slavonic joke)

The meeting of the Staffka in 1941.
Stalin comes to a general and said:
- Were You supposed to be shot?
General frightened, did not sleep for weeks.
1945. The Victory. The Meeting Staffka.
Stalin comes to the same general and said:
- Do you remember 1941? I walked over and asked: "Were You supposed to be shot"
- Yes. - said the general, and frightened.
- It was a hard time, but we joked!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: BurroDiablo on December 04, 2009, 10:35:27 PM: You wouldn't want to get on Stalins bad side if that's how he "Jokes"... he reminds me of Queenie from Blackadder

"Why aren't you laughing? Don't you find my Jokes funny?"
"I'm sorry Madam, I'm ecstatic at the whole thing. Its just I thought if I laughed, my head may have fallen off..."
"Well if you don't start soon... your head will fall off!"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 04, 2009, 10:48:29 PM: (he reminds me of Queenie from Blackadder) ohhh darn I miss that show :'( :'( :'( :'( we used to have it on BBC America for a long time but they dropped it that show was so funny now all I get is Top Gear and of course all of Gordan's shows (and the only good source in America ;D)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Loupblanc on December 05, 2009, 05:08:19 AM: ooooh, hey Burro, that's right. Queenie is badass. Lol.

Do tell us more jokes UeArtemis ;)

Eh, it's funny now, but had I been in soviet army, I'm not
sure if advancement would have been good, if It'd have gotten
me working with Komrade Stalin, lol.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 17, 2009, 04:46:41 AM: here are some jokes at Russia....http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2890557696 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2890557696)
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2674382592 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2674382592)
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2801401856 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2801401856)
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=1045116672 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=1045116672)
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2326560512 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2326560512)
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2827717632 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2827717632)
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=1977925376 (http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=1977925376)
SORRY 90% PUTTIN!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: 3y Gvardeyskiy Mechanized on December 31, 2009, 07:47:03 PM: Love the "In Soviet Russia, job hunt you!" pic ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: hofgeneric on December 31, 2009, 08:31:06 PM: In soviet russia baby abort you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on December 31, 2009, 11:27:42 PM: Quote from: 3y Gvardeyskiy Mechanized on December 31, 2009, 07:47:03 PM
Love the "In Soviet Russia, job hunt you!" pic ;D
lol yeah
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on February 11, 2010, 02:25:26 PM: In Soviet Russia gays are so severe that they "sleep" with women. ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paciat on February 11, 2010, 07:08:53 PM: I was just reading this topic while a friend posted me with this.
Its an AK-47 joke so...
Multi-Purpose AK-47 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDFL5_Jfhfc&feature=player_embedded#normal)
AK-47 is cheaper than a lighter.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: neosdark on February 12, 2010, 12:07:22 AM: In America you fight terrorism. In Soviet Russia terrorist fight you!!!!!!! 8)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on February 12, 2010, 12:47:30 AM: Quote from: Paciat on February 11, 2010, 07:08:53 PM
I was just reading this topic while a friend posted me with this.
Its an AK-47 joke so...
Multi-Purpose AK-47 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDFL5_Jfhfc&feature=player_embedded#normal)
WTF????
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SK8ERatWAR on February 12, 2010, 01:50:39 AM: In soviet russia somebody elses mind fucks with you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on February 12, 2010, 03:29:22 AM: haha but really WHAT IS WITH THE VIDEO
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Hpt.Berger on February 12, 2010, 01:02:35 PM: In soviet russia, forum watches and reads YOU
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: PoldekPL on February 12, 2010, 01:41:54 PM: Heh, famous russian inversion :P In polish version of uncyclopedia we have whole list of them, just put it into google translate http://nonsensopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Radziecka_inwersja (http://nonsensopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Radziecka_inwersja)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on February 12, 2010, 03:18:25 PM: In soviet russia you werent allowed to tell political jokes.
So the people just gave every joke a number.
One day Oleg Popow is standing in front of the cinema
waiting to get in. Somebody in front of him shouts "Nr. 47".
The whole crowd chuckles.
Another guy shouts " Nr. 84"
The crowd bursts into laughter.
Oleg decides to tell one aswell and so he shouts "Nr. 15"
Nobody even smiles.
Oleg asks "what is wrong?"
One in the crowd says "oh the joke is great, but you are telling it wrong!!"

I like those kind of jokes a lot :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on February 12, 2010, 10:02:08 PM: In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you!
Anf the Putin jokes aren't Soviet Russian, Putin leads a capitalist nation now.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on February 13, 2010, 06:13:03 AM: In soviet russia tank drives you!

(http://www.tracks-n-troops.com/archive/destroyed%20T34.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on February 14, 2010, 10:57:46 PM: In soviet russia photo takes you.
In soviet russia cards cut you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Vartuoosi on February 16, 2010, 01:36:02 PM: In Soviet Russia conscripts spam you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on February 16, 2010, 04:37:37 PM: In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches YOU.
In soviet russia prostitutes pay YOU.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on February 16, 2010, 08:09:45 PM: In Soviet Russia, Eastern Front plays you!
In Soviet Russia, snowmen build you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on February 17, 2010, 08:36:08 AM: Quote from: Pauly3 on February 16, 2010, 04:37:37 PM
In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches YOU.

fail
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on February 17, 2010, 02:21:32 PM: why?? thats the joke
in america you can watch big brother on telly
in soviet russia it watches you
and yes i am aware of the fact that the big brother is also the guy from the ovel 1984. this makes the joke even better.
In soviet russia mothe rin law kills YOU. :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on February 18, 2010, 05:18:25 AM: Or perhaps that big brother watches the people in the house. That's the whole premises of the show.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: greyreth on February 26, 2010, 05:34:44 PM: another one on Stalin, one of my favorite ones:

The first Soviet comedy movie is shot and shown to Stalin behind closed doors. The actor who played main character, film studio (single one for the entire country certainly) director, and the Minister of Culture are present.

Having watched the movie Stalin summarizes: - Nice movie. Funny. But I'm concerned with the main character. He behaves so stupidly - and in the same time with his mustache bears so much resemblance to comrade Stalin... should our citizens see the film they would say "pf-f-f-f... such a stupid comrade Stalin"... I think it's a good idea to shoot this actor...
(the actor faints away)
...also, to shoot the film studio director who produces such shit...
(director faints away)
...also, to shoot the Minister who doesn't stand over what is being produced in his department...

Minister, with pale face: - Comrade Stalin... or maybe we just shave off his mustache in the next version?..
Stalin: - Alright. Another good way to do things.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Hpt.Berger on February 26, 2010, 05:47:59 PM: (http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e293/nihilistic88/attackbear.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on February 27, 2010, 01:13:23 AM: (http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/4/14/128842388348988079.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on February 27, 2010, 01:31:51 AM: in Soviet Russia you get shot for saying what I am saying right now ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 03, 2010, 11:29:04 PM: (http://knowyourmeme.com/i/948/original/in-soviet-russia.png)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: thebomb on March 04, 2010, 06:35:18 AM: (http://www.allmotivated.com/pictures/Demotivational-pictures-in_Soviet_Russia.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 04, 2010, 11:15:24 AM: ah keep bringing in the lulz gentelmen
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SauerKRAUT on March 05, 2010, 04:06:51 PM: In soviet russia cake eats youuuu!!
In soviet russia bed sleep on you!!
In soviet russia internet browsers keep tabs on you!!
In soviet russia we don't eliminate hunge, hunger eliminates you!! (a little cruel but lol)
In zombified russia brain eats you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 12, 2010, 01:43:57 AM: In soviet Russia, books read YOU.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 12, 2010, 02:05:59 AM: lol nice the book XD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on March 12, 2010, 09:26:07 AM: In soviet russia wife cheats on you.... :-*
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 12, 2010, 01:21:55 PM: (http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/political-pictures-job-hunt.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 12, 2010, 02:43:28 PM: I already sent that (think it was first post!!!!!)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on March 12, 2010, 06:20:27 PM: (http://www.busydizzys.com/temp/InSovietRussia-1.png)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 13, 2010, 12:25:20 AM: Quote from: ford_prefect on March 12, 2010, 02:43:28 PM
I already sent that (think it was first post!!!!!)
but you did not have a picture :P

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2y7pNpPJmCs/SGTrs1cQbeI/AAAAAAAAAEE/ZWioj0hVf2M/s320/marx.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 13, 2010, 07:43:25 AM: its in there its all good though ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: thebomb on March 13, 2010, 10:56:10 PM: In Soviet Russia, government controls corporations.
In America, corporations control government.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 14, 2010, 12:00:06 AM: nice
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Hpt.Berger on March 14, 2010, 02:41:08 AM: In Soviet Russia, Santa Claus denies entry to bad foreigners.

(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e293/nihilistic88/russiansanta.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 14, 2010, 11:51:08 AM: (http://defaultprime.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/poster97780874oq4.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on March 14, 2010, 11:59:11 AM: In USA you end wars.
In Soviet Russia war ends you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Vartuoosi on March 16, 2010, 04:59:28 PM: Not exactly a in Soviet Russia-joke but hilarious anyway.

(http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/129115668532450309-copy2.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 17, 2010, 07:52:12 AM: uhhh lol?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 17, 2010, 09:07:31 AM: Win!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 17, 2010, 03:53:48 PM: I feel stupid asking this but is the Uniformed techie a male or female ?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 17, 2010, 06:22:44 PM: male I'd say
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SauerKRAUT on March 17, 2010, 07:38:32 PM: +1
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 17, 2010, 07:59:36 PM: In soviet Russia, Tool uses you!
In soviet Russia, canvas paints you!
In soviet Russia, Toilet uses you!

......Could't think of any other ones currently.......
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on March 17, 2010, 09:33:51 PM: Quote from: Akalonor on March 17, 2010, 07:59:36 PM
In soviet Russia, Toilet uses you!

:-X
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Vartuoosi on March 17, 2010, 10:59:44 PM: (http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/129120626557793714.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 18, 2010, 03:48:39 AM: Hahahah
Post Merge: March 18, 2010, 07:44:24 PM
(http://motivac.sopca.com/files/2007/05/neo.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SauerKRAUT on March 18, 2010, 09:28:38 PM: .
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 18, 2010, 10:02:26 PM: In soviet russia, food cooks you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on March 19, 2010, 02:47:34 PM: In soviet russia, trigger pulls you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 19, 2010, 02:56:25 PM: In Soviet Russia, These word read you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 19, 2010, 07:25:58 PM: lol this has got to be one of the longest lasting threads XD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 20, 2010, 05:33:52 AM: (http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb244/voyager454/soviet%20union/In_Soviet_Russia____by_Atalhlla.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 20, 2010, 08:53:32 AM: Actually it should be ASCAP they hold copyright laws and have some blokes in black suits in fancy cars come outside your house at 3 AM if you do download something wrongly XD. Lol no I have a friend who works for them they send agents everywhere he gota kick because he was an "agent" meaning he would go to places and sell the the rights to play songs. It was a good pick up line at bars "you know im an Agent ;)"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on March 22, 2010, 05:42:03 PM: well,
in Soviet Russia comp stomps you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Hpt.Berger on March 22, 2010, 11:47:26 PM: Quote from: Pauly3 on March 22, 2010, 05:42:03 PM
well,
in Soviet Russia comp stomps you!

+1
Especially on hard and expert settings!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on March 23, 2010, 02:01:41 AM: (http://lh4.ggpht.com/locke456/R9XhYfOZ-wI/AAAAAAAACgE/-QS8gMmoDmo/SovietMordor.jpg)
this is truely an epic reversal.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on March 24, 2010, 03:45:43 PM: As Russians say about themselves: Russians do not surrender. ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 24, 2010, 10:18:34 PM: In Soviet Mordor, Nazgul run from You!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on March 27, 2010, 06:44:39 PM: In the U.S.A workers work to be paid.
In communist China workers paid to work.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on March 29, 2010, 06:52:29 AM: In soveit Russia, post button click on you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on March 29, 2010, 02:12:16 PM: Quote from: Akalonor on March 29, 2010, 06:52:29 AM
In soveit Russia, post button click on you.
glad to see the guy that I "trolled" on back ;D guess what? I wouldn't mind the Finish now, if it meant the Spaniards wouldn't get a whole bloody army in the game
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Artillerist on April 10, 2010, 10:13:54 PM: 7 Wonders of Socialism:

1. Everyone had a place of work.
2. Despite the fact that everyone had a place of work, no one worked.
3. Despite the fact that no one worked, the needed norm was performed on 100%
4. Despite the fact that the norm was performed on 100%, all shops and stores were empty.
was.
5. Despite the fact that the shops had nothing, people had all what they want.
6. Despite the fact that people had all what they want, all were stealing all from each other.
7. Despite the fact that all were stealing, all people had all things anough for them.

:)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on April 10, 2010, 10:47:04 PM: I know one or two jokes, but it's hard to translater from russian to english, nut I'll try:

Soviet Union, Vladiwostok -Moscow railroad. Two russians are sitting in one compartment and smoking. Suddenly one of them asks: Where are you going? Because I travel from Moscow to Nowosibirsk. The second russian look at him strangely and answers: no way! I'm travelling from Nowosibirsk to Moscow! After one minute of silence the first of them says: Bloody hell, and this is what they call famous soviet technology!

Soviet Union, Kremlin. After long conference Molotov leave Stalin's office and says: Moustached asshole! Then he realises that a guardsman is hearing him - who do you mean, comrade Molotov? Molotov answers -... I... well... this moustached asshole Hitler! For this guarsman - I don't believe you. We are going to comrade Stalin now!
In Stalin's office guardsmen says - Comrade Stalin, comrade Molotov said "Moustached Asshole". Stalin looked at the Molotov and asked: who did you mean? - Of course this moustached asshole Hitler, comrade Stalin - whines Molotov.
-Good, Molotov, good. And you, comrade guardsman, who did you mean?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on April 13, 2010, 10:29:21 AM: i have a similar one.
1968 Tschech capital.
a lot of people in the metro.one man goes: because of those dogs my family starves, cause of those dogs i dont have a job, because of those dogs my cosin died!!!
Two men from the secret police arrest him and bring him to the station. then they question him: who did you mean when you said those dogs?? the man goes: the capitalists, who did you mean?? ::)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Panzer4life on April 13, 2010, 06:24:20 PM: A few Soviet Russia jokes;

In soviet Russia, hookers buy you!
in soviet Russia, the president kills you!
In soviet Russia, drugs do you!

And now, a new Russian-related joke i have just made up;

Two Russian Sergeants were playing cards and smoking cigars when their Commanding Officer came in.
'What are you doing comrades?' asked the CO.
"We are playing cards and smoking" replied the first Sergeant. The second Sergeants looks at the first, then at the Co. he pulls out his pistol and shoots the other Sergeant. The CO looks at him.
"Why did you do that?"
"Cause he was Capitalist for gambling away from the state," the sergeant said.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on April 13, 2010, 11:37:21 PM: lol ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on April 14, 2010, 09:30:45 PM: Stalingrad
The grimm winter.
2 soviet soldiers.
Vlad goes: The winter is great.
Michail goes : What do you mean by winter is great?? German snipers everywhere, no food and brutal commisars. Dead bodies all around us!!
Vlad : But they dont smell as bad as in summer....
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on April 15, 2010, 01:10:36 AM: haha.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on April 15, 2010, 02:42:10 AM: In Soviet Russia, um... well... nothing really happens
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on April 15, 2010, 04:14:39 PM: In Soveit Russia, Everything happens.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on April 16, 2010, 01:36:04 AM: In soviet russia bad jokes tell you....
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on April 17, 2010, 05:10:51 PM: In America, teacher teach class.
In Soviet Russia, class teach you!!!!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Red_Stinger on April 17, 2010, 08:32:51 PM: In Russia, russians love you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on April 18, 2010, 12:04:44 AM: In Soviet Russia, Congressman call you!!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on April 18, 2010, 12:05:27 AM: In soviet Russia, exclamation points spam you!!!!! -.-
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Hammerstein on April 18, 2010, 02:22:28 AM: In soviet Russia, this thread is funny.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on April 18, 2010, 07:52:15 AM: In soveit Russia, post 100 write you.
yaa post #100
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on April 18, 2010, 04:21:39 PM: In London:
«Excuse me, how much watch?»
«Near six».
«Such much?»
«For whom how…»
«MGIMO finished?»
«Ask!…»

Yes, they are Russians ^_^
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Artillerist on April 18, 2010, 05:39:13 PM: Hahaha, Artemis!!! +1
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on April 18, 2010, 06:01:40 PM: i dont get it....
cause i aint no russian
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 02, 2010, 02:55:21 AM: In soviet Russia You bite dogs..
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on May 02, 2010, 03:47:22 AM: In Soviet Russia, prostitute pay you!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 02, 2010, 03:52:10 AM: In soviet Russia, Jesus crucify you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Fementedbeancurd on May 02, 2010, 04:45:52 AM: KGB: It is appearing that prostitutski drown after drink too much vodka.

Yakov Caruso: In Soviet Moscow, vodka...

*is placing on large Russian hat of warmth*

...drinks you.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Cranialwizard on May 02, 2010, 04:53:25 AM: In Soviet Russia, Gun Shoot You!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 02, 2010, 06:25:28 AM: *Kncok Knock*
-Who's there-
-KGB-
*Opens door*
-KGB who?-
*SLAP*
-VE VILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!-
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: vietlord on May 02, 2010, 01:45:49 PM: in the perestroika period:
a rumor said in Moscow a gov shop got meat
_ a 2 km human file creates there... no one may enter...
_ 2H later, a fat comisar comes, "judes get out!" one third of the file grumbles and gets off
_ 2H later, the fat comisar comes again, "only communist card may stay" ... half of the files goes
_ 2H later, drivers of nomenklatura comes and take some meat, + 20 first people ... "stock is empty"
then an anonymous shout: "always judes are favorized"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 06, 2010, 02:51:43 AM: In soviet Russia, Thread kills you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on May 06, 2010, 11:40:24 PM: Quote from: Pauly3 on April 18, 2010, 06:01:40 PM
i dont get it....
cause i aint no russian
It is the Russian language with English words:
how much watch? - What time is it?
Near six - About six
Such much? - So late?
For whom how… - ... I don't know the English version, I'm Slav too. ^_^
MGIMO finished? - Is MGIMO over?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on May 07, 2010, 12:16:23 AM: Stalin and Molotov in the Kremlin
Stalin : We will take Finnland!
Molotov: And then?
Stalin: We will steamroll Japan!
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will attack Germany, it will be a hard and long war.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will take France, it will be even harder but we will make it.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:Then we got Europe and Asia.We will have a massive party.
Molotov: I have one question...
Stalin:Yes, ask it.
Molotov: Why not have the party now?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on May 07, 2010, 12:29:36 AM: lol epic...yea they got the vodka there why do they need all the other countries :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 07, 2010, 12:54:11 AM: Poor poor Finland . ;(
In Soviet Russia Mr.T get pittied by you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Red_Stinger on May 07, 2010, 06:09:32 PM: Poor France, they already have been steamrolled by Germany over and over, we dont need a red wave!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on May 08, 2010, 12:29:03 AM: "Stalin:We will attack Germany, it will be a hard and long war.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will take France, it will be even harder but we will make it."
how will it be harder to take France........
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Red_Stinger on May 08, 2010, 10:29:12 AM: Quote from: ford_prefect on May 08, 2010, 12:29:03 AM
"Stalin:We will attack Germany, it will be a hard and long war.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will take France, it will be even harder but we will make it."
how will it be harder to take France........

I think he refer that before the nazi invasion, the french army was supposed to be the greatest in the world... lol
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on May 11, 2010, 02:16:55 AM: They were, germany was just very smart.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on May 12, 2010, 02:37:06 PM: Dr.Hlus vs. Dr.House (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8YL1RHd2G8#lq-lq2-hq)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Werwolf on May 15, 2010, 03:44:23 AM: Soviet
"In Amerika, you shoot wolf.
...in Soviet Russia, wolf shoot you!"

In a remote kolkhoz:
<knock, knock>
Peasant: "Who there?"
NKVD: <short pause> "ahh...OLIGARCH."
<Peasant sighs with relief and opens door>
Peasant: "Come in, come in comra---"
<BANG!>

Modern:
"In Putin-Russia no Facebook, Book Face you!"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on May 15, 2010, 10:36:16 AM: +1
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on May 15, 2010, 03:54:53 PM: Quote
Modern:
"In Putin-Russia no Facebook, Book Face you!"
"the Russian Facebook" - "Incontact" (http://vkontakte.ru) ("In Touch") ::)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Werwolf on May 15, 2010, 05:21:07 PM: Quote from: UeArtemis on May 15, 2010, 03:54:53 PM
Quote
Modern:
"In Putin-Russia no Facebook, Book Face you!"
"the Russian Facebook" - "Incontact" (http://vkontakte.ru) ("In Touch") ::)
hehe, "Facebook" was easier, dunno how I'd go about with "Incontact" ;D

"With Soviet Russia, n00bs pwn you!" 8)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on May 18, 2010, 03:40:13 AM: in Soviet Russia, ass wipe you!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Cranialwizard on May 18, 2010, 04:28:51 AM: In Soviet Russia, you operate on doctor!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Werwolf on May 18, 2010, 12:46:33 PM: got this Russian joke from a friend... I don't know if it's funny or just plainly disturbing. maybe both.

__________________

Man pass playground, see little girl beating something
with stick. He go closer, and horrified sees stick has nail on end, and something is little puppy. Such thing that is pulp of meat, blood and fur used to be puppy some
point.

Man: Girl, girl, what yo...u doing?! Don't you like animals?
Girl: I don't really like people, too.

__________________
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Cranialwizard on May 18, 2010, 12:59:17 PM: It's like both at the same time...

Can't imagine a girl beating a puppy to death,

But on the same token "I don't really like people, too" was hilarious (:>
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 18, 2010, 06:54:09 PM: 'I don't really like people too' Is where I can relate
but I can't relate to not loving animals .
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on May 26, 2010, 04:37:08 AM: In America, your job determines your marks
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your job

In America, you assassinate the president
In Soviet Russia, the president assassinates you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on May 26, 2010, 04:44:25 AM: Quote from: comrade2012 on May 26, 2010, 04:37:08 AM
In America, your job determines your marks
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your job

+1
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on May 26, 2010, 05:41:16 AM: Quote from: comrade2012 on May 26, 2010, 04:37:08 AM
In America, your job determines your marks
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your job

In America, you assassinate the president
In Soviet Russia, the president assassinates you
nice I love both of them
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on May 26, 2010, 05:46:28 AM: Quote from: ford_prefect on May 26, 2010, 05:41:16 AM
Quote from: comrade2012 on May 26, 2010, 04:37:08 AM
In America, your job determines your marks
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your job

In America, you assassinate the president
In Soviet Russia, the president assassinates you
nice I love both of them
Indeed ;D.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 28, 2010, 07:31:59 AM: In soviet Russia , CIA informs you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paciat on May 28, 2010, 08:58:10 AM: 2 russians are drinking:
- I fought youre doctor told you not to drink.
- youre doctor will tell you anything for 20$.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 28, 2010, 07:24:32 PM: haha
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on May 29, 2010, 02:08:22 AM: In Soviet Russia, forum balance you!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on May 29, 2010, 02:11:15 AM: In soviet Russia, Dog abuse you (Animals Rule!)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on May 29, 2010, 07:17:21 AM: In America you laugh on youtube. In soviet russia youtube laughs of you.
(http://aliendesign.ro/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/6914.jpg) (http://aliendesign.ro/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/6914.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on May 30, 2010, 02:14:14 PM: win
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on May 30, 2010, 08:42:16 PM: Wow, I actullay fell for that!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 01, 2010, 04:23:45 AM: Somethings wrong with it -.- the video won't play properly :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Dominic 'Dragon' Cassidy on June 06, 2010, 01:23:59 AM: (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_OzXJuNyMIKE/S4NOzfBxrHI/AAAAAAAABQA/4aUzAK0fxJQ/s400/BL_VERTICAL_beardly4_russia_sm.jpg)

'Nough said.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Red_Stinger on June 06, 2010, 09:14:20 AM: Quote from: Akalonor on June 01, 2010, 04:23:45 AM
Somethings wrong with it -.- the video won't play properly :P

Hehehe blackbishop you got him!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on June 06, 2010, 09:38:11 AM: Quote from: Dragon93 on June 06, 2010, 01:23:59 AM
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_OzXJuNyMIKE/S4NOzfBxrHI/AAAAAAAABQA/4aUzAK0fxJQ/s400/BL_VERTICAL_beardly4_russia_sm.jpg)

'Nough said.
haha In soviet russia http://cheezburger.com/sweetkate/lolz/View/1804550912 (http://cheezburger.com/sweetkate/lolz/View/1804550912)
Post Merge: June 06, 2010, 09:40:04 AM
http://cheezburger.com/View/2971381760 (http://cheezburger.com/View/2971381760)

don't you just love Americans? They make me feel a lot more...smarter :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 06, 2010, 06:29:44 PM: I blame John Macain , his idiocy is contageous. :p , personally I dislike most people my age :) ( I believe I've posted my thoughts on my classmates somewhere before, and yes I am American and very unpatriotic)
since I can't think of any jokes I will tell a riddle :
A car must go around a 1 mile track 2 times ,it goes 30 miles per hour the first time, how fast does it have to go the second time to average 60 miles per hour ?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on June 06, 2010, 08:44:50 PM: It's gotton so said that I just laugh at it now
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on June 08, 2010, 01:27:15 AM: In United States, generals command enlisted men!

In Soviet Russia, enlisted men command generals!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 10, 2010, 01:32:25 AM: That was junk.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 10, 2010, 01:38:22 AM: Anywhere in the world you hate Stalin
In soviet Russia Stalin hate you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 10, 2010, 01:43:27 AM: Since when did stailn hate me? Am the nicest person in the world!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: PoldekPL on June 10, 2010, 04:37:48 PM: That's why!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on June 11, 2010, 11:31:47 PM: In Soviet Russia, Death gets sentenced to you!!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 11, 2010, 11:32:48 PM: I think (you) was Seeme :) (Kidding)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 12, 2010, 02:56:08 AM: ???
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 12, 2010, 06:40:25 PM: In Soviet Russia , death sentenced to visit (Seeme) ,
thats what I meant. (Kidding)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 12, 2010, 06:51:30 PM: I dont want to die?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 13, 2010, 02:30:49 AM: Nevermind :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on June 13, 2010, 05:45:28 PM: DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on June 13, 2010, 06:02:19 PM: Quote from: comrade2012 on June 13, 2010, 05:45:28 PM
DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who said that? Grigori Rasputin?

;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 13, 2010, 11:21:06 PM: Thats a bad begining, they should save it for last.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on June 14, 2010, 12:21:40 AM: It would've been a good beginning for G.W.B.
(kidding)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 14, 2010, 02:55:55 PM: (not kidding) >:(
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on June 14, 2010, 05:19:26 PM: since everybody is going mental (it is all seemes fault)
i take this topic with two recon squads
My topic.... ???
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: comrade2012 on June 15, 2010, 05:48:59 AM: i was quoting the antagonist from Sherlock Holmes.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on June 15, 2010, 07:15:27 AM: I didn't see it yet :P. But I saw The Mummy(1999) and Imhotep says the same line, but in arabic ;).
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Werwolf on June 19, 2010, 05:41:35 AM: After WWII, Soviet teacher asks the children what they have done during the war to help the Rodina.

Mashenka raises her hand and says: "I helped to locate and rescue wounded soldiers under enemy fire." The teacher praises, "Very good, Mashenka, very good!"

Petenka raises his hand as well and says: "I went to the enemy t...territory together with our reconnaissance fighters." The teacher replied, "That's brave very much!"

Beaming inwardly with Marxist pride, the teacher then looks around for more students to call. "What's about you, Vovochka?"

Vovochka answers reluctantly, "I carried projectiles to gunners..." the teacher claps her hands. "That's good, Vovochka! What did they told you?"

Vovochka fidgets, looks around him and sheepishly replies,"Sehr gut, Voldemar, danke!"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on June 19, 2010, 06:04:06 AM: Quote from: Werwolf on June 19, 2010, 05:41:35 AM
After WWII, Soviet teacher asks the children what they have done during the war to help the Rodina.

Mashenka raises her hand and says: "I helped to locate and rescue wounded soldiers under enemy fire." The teacher praises, "Very good, Mashenka, very good!"

Petenka raises his hand as well and says: "I went to the enemy t...territory together with our reconnaissance fighters." The teacher replied, "That's brave very much!"

Beaming inwardly with Marxist pride, the teacher then looks around for more students to call. "What's about you, Vovochka?"

Vovochka answers reluctantly, "I carried projectiles to gunners..." the teacher claps her hands. "That's good, Vovochka! What did they told you?"

Vovochka fidgets, looks around him and sheepishly replies,"Sehr gut, Voldemar, danke!"
hahaha ;D... lol.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Tico_1990 on June 19, 2010, 02:40:44 PM: In Soviet Russia, Bridge has you.

Cheers
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 20, 2010, 03:33:04 AM: Quote from: Werwolf on June 19, 2010, 05:41:35 AM
After WWII, Soviet teacher asks the children what they have done during the war to help the Rodina.

Mashenka raises her hand and says: "I helped to locate and rescue wounded soldiers under enemy fire." The teacher praises, "Very good, Mashenka, very good!"

Petenka raises his hand as well and says: "I went to the enemy t...territory together with our reconnaissance fighters." The teacher replied, "That's brave very much!"

Beaming inwardly with Marxist pride, the teacher then looks around for more students to call. "What's about you, Vovochka?"

Vovochka answers reluctantly, "I carried projectiles to gunners..." the teacher claps her hands. "That's good, Vovochka! What did they told you?"

Vovochka fidgets, looks around him and sheepishly replies,"Sehr gut, Voldemar, danke!"

Can you translate that to english? Not everyone speaks german.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on June 20, 2010, 04:06:43 AM: Quote from: Seeme on June 20, 2010, 03:33:04 AM
...
Can you translate that to english? Not everyone speaks german.
It says "Very well, Vladimir, thanks!"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on June 20, 2010, 09:33:05 PM: In Soviet Russia, t.v. watches you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 21, 2010, 12:39:49 AM: Thats scary...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on June 21, 2010, 01:13:21 AM: In a good or bad way?

Remember: In Soviet Russia, guns shoot you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on June 21, 2010, 01:34:35 AM: Bad...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on June 22, 2010, 04:00:55 PM: (http://cs4167.vkontakte.ru/u51299051/48283277/x_fb28ea58.jpg)
This is a harvest
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on June 23, 2010, 07:47:08 PM: Quote from: comrade2012 on June 15, 2010, 05:48:59 AM
i was quoting the antagonist from Sherlock Holmes.
no shit Sherlock XDDD haha I just had to sorry
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on July 27, 2010, 01:10:24 PM: In Soviet Russia, thread ignore you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Nicolasas on July 27, 2010, 01:39:22 PM: "In soviet russia terms of service violate you!"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paciat on July 27, 2010, 04:16:36 PM: When Poland was a puppet state there were a lot of hate for Soviets... and jokes about them:

-Grandma. Today is a birthday of Stalin.
-Who is Stalin, child?
-Dont you know grandma? Stalin got rid of Germans and liberated Poland.
-Ow, thats good. If only he god rid of these Russians too.

- Daddy Russians went into space.
- What? All of them?
- No only 2.
- Than dont bother me.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on July 27, 2010, 07:31:47 PM: hahaha... lol ;D. Good post paciat :P.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Jerry Kraut on July 30, 2010, 05:12:00 PM: In Soviet Russia, germans zerg-rush YOU!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on July 30, 2010, 10:08:18 PM: yeah they actaully do , Blitzkreig assault.....:P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on August 06, 2010, 11:43:22 PM: In Soviet Russia youtube blocks you :P... In Modern Russia (http://mashable.com/2010/07/28/youtube-banned-russia/)...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Red_Stinger on August 07, 2010, 01:45:44 AM: ... In modern russia, russian get YOU away.

Quite frankly, ultra-nationalist speeches like "russia for russian" should be deleted everywhere. Even in France we have "La France aux français", which is really annoying >:(

In America (or in western europe ;) ), you gain money on the State. In soviet russia, the State gain money on you! ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Werwolf on August 07, 2010, 05:13:30 PM: In Soviet Russia, BETA TESTS YOU! ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Artillerist on August 15, 2010, 11:01:03 PM: (http://lurkmore.ru/images/1/1b/Klu.jpg)

(http://s.lurkmore.ru/images/2/2d/WG_SI_EP_82.JPG)
(http://s.lurkmore.ru/images/0/02/BEAR-cavalry_fin_small.jpg)
(http://s.lurkmore.ru/images/e/e3/General_Moroz_on_the_tank.jpg)
(http://s.lurkmore.ru/images/3/38/Medvedi.jpg)

Stereotips about Russia: http://lurkmore.ru/%D0%9A%D0%BB%D1%8E%D0%BA%D0%B2%D0%B0 (http://lurkmore.ru/%D0%9A%D0%BB%D1%8E%D0%BA%D0%B2%D0%B0)
Quote
Moscow, father, son, mother.
- Family, sit eating potatoes with herring "Ivasi!
- Let's drink vodka!
- Dad, may I go and look at Lenin, played on the balalaika and wash our bear?
- You can, but it is hot here, go turn off the nuclear reactor in the basement! And drink vodka! Yes, but where is your sister?
- Cleans the AK-47.
- Well done! Let her drink vodka!
- Dad, but today I wrote a "5" essay on the topic "For the Lenin I'm ready to rot in the mines!"
- Well done! Can the whole class to drink vodka!
- Wife, and where our grandfather?
- It should be in line for coupons for coupons!
- Good for you, let him drink vodka, how come!
- All had eaten, drink vodka and go to watch the Congress of the CPSU Central Committee!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on August 18, 2010, 03:00:25 AM: For lovers of anime: Russian cosplay
(http://nya.sh/i/09d7d302704625013f223990d8c3f049.jpg)
(http://nya.sh/i/54fb55fd240daf24a1dd5ab158664a87.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on August 20, 2010, 02:50:39 AM: The russian seems more dangerous , cause he wont be all dramatic , just run at you and chop your head off....
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 20, 2010, 03:06:05 AM: I dont think you will have time to think that when you see him.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: neosdark on August 20, 2010, 06:57:22 PM: I just randomly found this......

(http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/129201294510572625.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 20, 2010, 11:08:55 PM: Haha. Funny.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SublimeSnugz on August 22, 2010, 01:37:24 AM: In soviet russia jokes are from the 80's
NO WONDER THEY SUCK
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 22, 2010, 02:47:29 AM: In Soviet Russia, 80s are from Russia!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SublimeSnugz on August 22, 2010, 02:49:12 AM: In soviet russia jokes reverse you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 22, 2010, 02:52:43 AM: In soveit russia you reverse jokes.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SublimeSnugz on August 22, 2010, 03:08:59 AM: In Soviet Russia joke is you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 22, 2010, 04:27:49 AM: In Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia jokes go like "In Russia Soviet"

Thats kinda confusing.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Skykid93 on August 23, 2010, 01:04:24 AM: In the US you fire the AT gun.

In Soviet Russia, AT gun fires YOU!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on August 23, 2010, 01:27:11 AM: Thats actually pretty good.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Skykid93 on August 23, 2010, 01:45:48 AM: Heres some rather fun (IMO at least :P) In soviet russia pics i found
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on August 23, 2010, 01:50:49 AM: Nice! I like the old lady one. That's great. Lets see the best I got... In soviet Russia, the horses ride you! Fail.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Skykid93 on August 23, 2010, 02:00:43 AM: Quote from: TacticalNuke on August 23, 2010, 01:50:49 AM
Nice! I like the old lady one. That's great. Lets see the best I got... In soviet Russia, the horses ride you! Fail.

In Soviet Russia, Berlin Divides YOU! :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 23, 2010, 02:10:22 AM: Thats mean...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on August 23, 2010, 05:21:32 AM: I like it. In soviet russia, the tv watches you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 23, 2010, 02:52:19 PM: You already said that.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on August 24, 2010, 03:17:05 AM: oh yeah.. my bad.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on August 24, 2010, 03:18:26 AM: in soviet russia music listens to you...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: TacticalNuke on August 24, 2010, 03:20:26 AM: good one.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 24, 2010, 03:21:27 AM: Yea, pretty good.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on August 24, 2010, 04:16:14 PM: In Soviet WoW Horde kill you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 24, 2010, 04:27:30 PM: So in America you kill horde? I don't get it.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on August 25, 2010, 03:59:51 PM: In WoW you ( as alliance ) kill horde , in Soviet WoW Horde kill you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Skykid93 on August 25, 2010, 05:21:16 PM: Roses are red, violets are blue, in Soviet Russia, poem writes you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 25, 2010, 09:30:54 PM: Ha! Thats a great one!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on August 26, 2010, 01:28:26 AM: ;D nice
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: nico97one on August 27, 2010, 03:34:25 PM: In Soviet Russia Stalin is ... AMERICAN XD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 27, 2010, 08:52:04 PM: I can just imagine a American Stalin :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: nico97one on August 27, 2010, 11:41:55 PM: Goulags will now be called prison, and the Coca-cola will now replaces the vodka ! Oh and now Commisars have to be called Officiers. :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on August 27, 2010, 11:58:26 PM: And Cadillac would be replaced by Volga ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 28, 2010, 12:37:54 AM: And he will send thousands of Americans to the middle east to help populate it.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: nico97one on August 28, 2010, 03:06:00 AM: Quote from: cephalos on August 27, 2010, 11:58:26 PM
And Cadillac would be replaced by Volga ;D

Well, I think if Stalin is capitalist the volga will be replaced by the cadillac :O

Quote from: Seeme on August 28, 2010, 12:37:54 AM
And he will send thousands of Americans to the middle east to help populate it.

But if Stalin is american it will be ...

In America Russia ... in soviet russia jokes aren't funny at all .... ^^
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on August 28, 2010, 07:40:45 PM: Kusumi Koharu - Balalaika (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF7J78C3aRo#)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Skykid93 on August 29, 2010, 12:05:02 AM: Quote from: UeArtemis on August 28, 2010, 07:40:45 PM
Kusumi Koharu - Balalaika (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF7J78C3aRo#)

o.O
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: nico97one on August 29, 2010, 04:07:27 PM: wow
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 29, 2010, 06:31:08 PM: ...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on August 30, 2010, 12:53:48 AM: The song is about this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balalaika (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balalaika)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on August 30, 2010, 12:57:06 AM: In Soviet Russia, UeArtemis's posts make sense!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: nico97one on August 30, 2010, 03:26:18 PM: xDDD

In America Russia ... UeArtemis posts are still nonsense XD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on September 04, 2010, 10:28:18 AM: In Soviet Russia some things are seen like this:
(http://cs4850.vkontakte.ru/u23464224/112466847/x_879ed2c9.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on September 04, 2010, 02:25:14 PM: .......

Yes, atfer a lone fight and there island in rubble, the Japanese want to eat at McDonalds....
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: BlackSphere on September 04, 2010, 06:49:22 PM: Now that's an image. Several squads of elite Japanese soldiers breaking out happy meals. Ooo look! A toy!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on September 07, 2010, 11:12:22 PM: (http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/hueyfreeman00/a_004.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: nico97one on September 08, 2010, 12:02:59 AM: GG
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on September 08, 2010, 12:29:49 AM: In Soviet Russia bread slices you!
(http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091207194319/nonsensopedia/images/thumb/f/ff/W_zsrr_to_chleb_kroi_ciebie.jpg/700px-W_zsrr_to_chleb_kroi_ciebie.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on September 08, 2010, 01:44:04 AM: Lol
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on September 08, 2010, 03:52:58 PM: UeArtemis's post is kindof true.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on September 08, 2010, 08:50:49 PM: Nahh.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: SK8ERatWAR on September 08, 2010, 10:12:19 PM: maybe it's true, but the picture is definitely funny
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on September 09, 2010, 01:50:51 AM: Hey! Where did the Vodka Picture go!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on September 09, 2010, 04:02:21 AM: Quote from: Seeme on September 09, 2010, 01:50:51 AM
Hey! Where did the Vodka Picture go!
Censored by the motherland ;)...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on September 09, 2010, 08:58:37 PM: >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on September 10, 2010, 09:42:28 PM: (http://cs4413.vkontakte.ru/u9051183/115475839/z_211141a8.jpg)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on September 10, 2010, 10:23:58 PM: ok...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: UeArtemis on September 12, 2010, 05:59:49 PM: (http://cs1663.vkontakte.ru/u28945862/49553728/x_02381d95.jpg)
Left - a Russian solder
Right - a Imperial Guardsman
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on September 13, 2010, 03:05:18 PM: hmmm
send in the chaos mutants to stop them
xD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Newbie. on September 13, 2010, 05:06:06 PM: Baneblade the twits.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on December 12, 2010, 09:01:00 PM: In soviet Russia Thread bump you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Red_Stinger on December 12, 2010, 09:26:07 PM: Lol UeArtemis, good one! They both are ready to defend the empire/imperium! For the Emperor!!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on December 12, 2010, 09:49:25 PM: in soviet russia topic necros you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on December 14, 2010, 09:48:50 PM: In soviet Russia Luke Skywalker kill you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: IJoe on December 14, 2010, 10:07:58 PM: Quote from: Akalonor on December 14, 2010, 09:48:50 PM
In soviet Russia Luke Skywalker kill you!

Is it vice versa in Capitalist America?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on December 14, 2010, 11:04:42 PM: I Soviet Russia, grenade throws you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on December 14, 2010, 11:42:21 PM: Quote from: Akalonor on December 14, 2010, 09:48:50 PM
In soviet Russia Luke Skywalker kill you!
In Soviet Russia You are Darth Vader's father.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: IJoe on December 14, 2010, 11:47:27 PM: In Soviet Russia ideas make you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on December 15, 2010, 12:23:24 AM: In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris worships you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: IJoe on December 15, 2010, 12:31:46 AM: In Soviet Russia the government suspects you of conspiracy.
Post Merge: December 15, 2010, 12:36:20 AM
In Soviet Russia the Beatles get arrested for trying to buy your album
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pathfinder777 on December 15, 2010, 12:55:37 AM: The American police are better than the Russian, the Americans have something called the "Warning Shot" ;)

In the US, you assassinate the leader on command,
In the USSR, by the leaders' command you are assassinated.

I Went to a restaurant and I was asked. "How many in your party?" I replied "600 million".

In the US, you will always find a party.
In the USSR, a party will always find you.

Ask me if you want more... ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on December 15, 2010, 01:22:51 AM: Hahaha
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pauly3 on December 16, 2010, 12:30:34 AM: Those are actually rather awesome!! ;D ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on December 16, 2010, 03:20:58 AM: More!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Desert_Fox on December 23, 2010, 04:45:21 PM: In Soviet Russia Mario play with you. :)

(sorry but the demo is in Italian).
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Newbie. on December 25, 2010, 08:28:56 AM: In soviet russia, game loose you.
(I've found a way to Win the Game, Find a TARDIS Then go back 30 years to Leningrad)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Pathfinder777 on December 28, 2010, 07:26:24 AM: In the US, your job determines your marks
In USSR, Marx determines your job.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on December 28, 2010, 09:38:29 AM: Quote from: Pathfinder777 on December 28, 2010, 07:26:24 AM
In the US, your job determines your marks
In USSR, Marx determines your job.

haha ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Desert_Fox on December 28, 2010, 03:31:08 PM: Quote from: cephalos on December 28, 2010, 09:38:29 AM
Quote from: Pathfinder777 on December 28, 2010, 07:26:24 AM
In the US, your job determines your marks
In USSR, Marx determines your job.

haha ;D

haha +1
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on December 28, 2010, 04:10:55 PM: Quote from: Newbie. on December 25, 2010, 08:28:56 AM
In soviet russia, game loose you.
(I've found a way to Win the Game, Find a TARDIS Then go back 30 years to Leningrad)
But you can't directly interfere with history at Leningrad since it is an important point in time....
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Newbie. on December 29, 2010, 06:18:11 PM: ... TWO CAMELS IN A TINY CAR.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Akalonor on January 03, 2011, 03:13:37 AM: Went to USSR..
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on January 03, 2011, 12:28:46 PM: and Died.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Desert_Fox on January 17, 2011, 01:36:44 PM: ;D ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Max 'DonXavi' von B. on May 12, 2011, 08:11:03 PM: In Soviet Russia, forum spams you!

In Soviet Russia, vodka drinks you!

In Soviet Russia, tree climbs you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 08:35:10 PM: Quote from: MaxiKing6 on May 12, 2011, 08:11:03 PM
In Soviet Russia, forum spams you!
HAHA, i used that joke a few months ago in the Blistered Thumbs mod section regarding the Russian spam! ;D Sadly, we don't get much spam anymore. :'(
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on May 12, 2011, 09:51:44 PM: Quote from: pariah on May 12, 2011, 08:35:10 PM
Quote from: MaxiKing6 on May 12, 2011, 08:11:03 PM
In Soviet Russia, forum spams you!
HAHA, i used that joke a few months ago in the Blistered Thumbs mod section regarding the Russian spam! ;D Sadly, we don't get much spam anymore. :'(

maybe people finally read ours signatures
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 09:54:39 PM: You mean the Lord Rommel quote?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on May 12, 2011, 09:55:45 PM: mhm :)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 09:57:43 PM: So... What does that quote have to do with spam? ???
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on May 12, 2011, 09:59:37 PM: "I can't unlock third greman faction, why?"
" When will be OH released?"
" Ostheer - where to download it?"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 10:04:29 PM: Oh, right. ;D

Anyway, what's with these 'in Soviet Russia' jokes? What do they mean? I never understood them...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: IJoe on May 12, 2011, 10:08:44 PM: Quote from: pariah on May 12, 2011, 10:04:29 PM
Oh, right. ;D

Anyway, what's with these 'in Soviet Russia' jokes? What do they mean? I never understood them...
google - it should help
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 10:21:41 PM: Hhmmm nope. :(
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Killar on May 12, 2011, 10:33:35 PM: Quote from: cephalos on May 12, 2011, 09:59:37 PM
"I can't unlock third greman faction, why?"
" When will be OH released?"
" Ostheer - where to download it?"

"help pls i cant use the units you show here ingame :("

(pics of unreleased units on moddb page)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 10:52:42 PM: In Soviet Russia, they ask when the Soviet army will be available. :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Max 'DonXavi' von B. on May 12, 2011, 11:11:47 PM: In Soviet Russia, Ostheer asks for you to be released!

In Soviet Russia, tanks skin you!

(Try to imagine the last one :P)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 12, 2011, 11:14:05 PM: Crab mine flail? ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Killar on May 12, 2011, 11:14:48 PM: Quote from: MaxiKing6 on May 12, 2011, 11:11:47 PM
In Soviet Russia, tanks skin you!

(Try to imagine the last one :P)

Lol

In Soviet Russia, game animates you!

In Soviet Russia, video game units control you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Max 'DonXavi' von B. on May 13, 2011, 06:55:53 AM: Quote from: Killar on May 12, 2011, 11:14:48 PM
In Soviet Russia, video game units control you!

Wow, that would be hell of a nightmare. xD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Desert_Fox on May 13, 2011, 01:55:23 PM: Quote from: MaxiKing6 on May 12, 2011, 11:11:47 PM
In Soviet Russia, Ostheer asks for you to be released!

In Soviet Russia, tanks skin you!

(Try to imagine the last one :P)

Hahahaha! I want Camo! :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on May 16, 2011, 03:07:12 AM: Quote from: pariah on May 12, 2011, 10:04:29 PM
Anyway, what's with these 'in Soviet Russia' jokes? What do they mean? I never understood them...

Isn't it something to do with how the Soviets are "backward" in thinking...

In the USA, you drive the economy.
In Soviet Russia, economy drives you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 16, 2011, 03:52:28 AM: Well if that's the case, it would be from the American perspective, wouldn't it? So in Russia, the jokes would be the other way around, right?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on May 16, 2011, 04:07:35 AM: Quote from: pariah on May 16, 2011, 03:52:28 AM
Well if that's the case, it would be from the American perspective, wouldn't it? So in Russia, the jokes would be the other way around, right?

;D, I guess. Most people leave off the American part cause most know the jokes come 2nd!
Post Merge: May 16, 2011, 06:01:19 AM
This is off-off-topic

Hitler, Mussolini and Churchill were gathered together in a secret bunker debating who was going to win the war, however none of them could come to an agreement. Churchill suddenly suggested "Do you see that fountain over there? In the fountain there is a fish, let's make it that the one who catches the fish will be the one to win the war."

"That's easy, no problem for the Reich!" Hitler exclaimed and whipped out his luger but after emptying the whole gun into the water, he failed to hit the fish. Annoyed Hitler turned to Mussolini "You try it,"

Mussolini stripped completely naked and dived into the water but swim as he may, he could not catch the fish and eventually got out when he was completely exhausted.

Churchill sat calmly beside the pool and took at a teaspoon, then he began slowly dishing the water out of the fountain.

"What the heck are you doing?!?" Hitler demanded.
Churchill smiled and looked back at Hitler, "Every teaspoon I remove is bringing me closer to victory!"
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 16, 2011, 04:19:52 PM: Yeah, erm... I don't think that actually happened. ;) :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on May 16, 2011, 10:10:36 PM: In Capitalist America, you shoot Nagant. In Soviet Russia, Nagant shoot you. :)

In Capitalist America, you play Minecraft. In Soviet Russia, Minecraft plays you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on May 17, 2011, 04:58:50 AM: Quote from: pariah on May 16, 2011, 04:19:52 PM
Yeah, erm... I don't think that actually happened. ;) :D
Tis just a Joke!

Quote from: HyperSniper999 on May 16, 2011, 10:10:36 PM
In Capitalist America, you shoot Nagant. In Soviet Russia, Nagant shoot you. :)

All hail the seemingly all powerful Mosin Nagant
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on May 17, 2011, 11:00:19 PM: In Soviet Russia, seeme looks at you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 17, 2011, 11:04:48 PM: In Soviet Russia, pariah has many friends!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on May 17, 2011, 11:05:46 PM: :'(
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 17, 2011, 11:08:28 PM: Don't worry, Seeme - I'm in Australia, where i don't have to deal with any friends. ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Max 'DonXavi' von B. on May 17, 2011, 11:35:31 PM: :'(

Don't worry pariah. Here you have friends *looking as friendly as possible* :)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 18, 2011, 12:56:07 AM: I like you Maxi, as well as most other people here, so i don't want to regard any of you as friends. ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Seeme on May 18, 2011, 01:47:42 AM: Who wouldn't want to be friends with a Person who donates 500$ to a game he can't play ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 18, 2011, 02:01:18 AM: In Soviet Russia, Eastern Front donates to you! ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on May 22, 2011, 09:08:46 PM: (http://i56.tinypic.com/dz6tsw.jpg) (http://i56.tinypic.com/dz6tsw.jpg)
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you (http://i56.tinypic.com/dz6tsw.jpg)! ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on May 22, 2011, 09:17:48 PM: Quote from: Seeme on May 18, 2011, 01:47:42 AM
Who wouldn't want to be friends with a Person who donates 500$ to a game he can't play ;D
Pariah donated 500 dollars to EF?

Wow, that is dedication.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 22, 2011, 09:29:03 PM: Yes it is. ;D

In Soviet Russia, your plumber is in another castle! :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: RedGuard on May 23, 2011, 09:44:39 PM: ^^dont get it
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 23, 2011, 09:48:10 PM: ^^Implication that Peach is trying to save Mario. ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on May 24, 2011, 01:02:11 AM: Quote from: pariah on May 23, 2011, 09:48:10 PM
^^Implication that Peach is trying to save Mario. ;)
Hee hee, Super Princess Peach. Though its actually a game...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 24, 2011, 01:18:34 AM: Really? Never heard of it...
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on May 24, 2011, 01:22:00 AM: Quote from: pariah on May 24, 2011, 01:18:34 AM
Really? Never heard of it...
Don't blame you really. Nintendo's made so many Mario-based games it's difficult to count them all.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 24, 2011, 01:26:25 AM: O.K. then, how about this?:

In Soviet Russia, your giant turtle dragon thing is in another castle! ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Cranialwizard on May 24, 2011, 01:41:55 AM: Quote from: pariah on May 24, 2011, 01:26:25 AM
O.K. then, how about this?:

In Soviet Russia, your giant turtle dragon thing is in another castle! ;D
In soviet Russia, Mushroom Find you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on May 25, 2011, 10:07:59 AM: In capitalist america, you eat mushroom
In soviet russia, mushroom eats you
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on May 25, 2011, 10:39:55 PM: I just came up with a funny one, but since it's drug related I don't want to break the ToS if it's against it. Here's another anyways;

In Capitalist America, you build house.
In Soviet Russia, house build you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: cephalos on May 25, 2011, 10:41:26 PM: In captialist America you listen to Metallica!
In Soviet Russia Metallica listens to you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 25, 2011, 10:42:20 PM: You mean like, 'In Soviet Russia, drugs do you!'?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on May 25, 2011, 10:49:49 PM: Quote from: pariah on May 25, 2011, 10:42:20 PM
You mean like, 'In Soviet Russia, drugs do you!'?
No,
In Capitalist America, you get high.
In Soviet Russia, high gets you.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 25, 2011, 10:51:57 PM: Hmm... I don't get it.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: HyperSniper999 on May 25, 2011, 10:58:08 PM: Quote from: pariah on May 25, 2011, 10:51:57 PM
Hmm... I don't get it.
Are in Soviet Russia jokes supposed to be understandable?
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 25, 2011, 11:00:41 PM: To some degree, yes. It should make sense to some degree. Otherwise... It's not funny.
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Cranialwizard on May 25, 2011, 11:20:00 PM: As we used to say at the supply yard (work)

In Soviet Russia, Sandbags fill you!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on May 26, 2011, 02:50:58 AM: lol

In Capitalist America, you revive thread
In Soviet Russia, thread revives you!

(look how old this thread is ;))
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on May 26, 2011, 02:57:34 AM: In Soviet Russia, age is of no importance. ;)
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on June 24, 2011, 08:53:52 AM: I'm so happy my old Soviet Russia joke topic is still so hot XD
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Blackbishop on June 24, 2011, 08:59:45 AM: In soviet russia Team Fortress 2 had been already free ;D!!!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: ford_prefect on June 24, 2011, 09:06:25 AM: LIKE!! hehe
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on June 24, 2011, 05:42:23 PM: In Soviet Russia, Tommy Wiseau made Citizen Kane!
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Desert_Fox on June 24, 2011, 06:39:40 PM: In Soviet Russia Otheer can't wait for you! :P
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Paladin88 on June 27, 2011, 07:02:21 AM: In Soviet Russia, jokes tell you... (unfortunately ;))

Also in Soviet Russia, we tell Lord Rommel "The Ostheer will be done when its done" :D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on July 06, 2011, 06:22:38 PM: In Soviet Russia, J.F.K. said "Ask not what you can do for your country; Ask what your country can do for you". ;D
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: Versedhorison on July 09, 2011, 12:02:57 AM: lol thats from a megadeth song
Title: Re: In soviet russia jokes
Post by: pariah on July 09, 2011, 12:14:00 AM: Really? I'm not terribly familiar with Megadeth...