Company of Heroes: Eastern Front
Other discussions (Read-Only) => Off Topic => Topic started by: Seeme on August 24, 2010, 01:01:48 AM
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This tread is where you can make a story with other people. What you do is first is every time you post you have to add a sentence of a story. For example:
"Newbie:
One day bob the US rifleman went for a talk with his friend."
Then someone adds a sentence to that
"Paicet":
"He wondered why he was always in battle first"
etc.
Rules:
- Has to be about COH
- You cant post twice.
Will someone do the honer of starting us off?
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Once some Comscripts were being lazy and hiding from the fight......
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Suddenly, the Major found them and was about to punish them all when...
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the Commissar arrived in a lend-lease Sherman...
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He asked "Whats wrong with your men, comrade?"
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The Major replied "the men are tired of fighting for Stalin."
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The Commissar comes out with his loaded pistol when suddenly...
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and shoots Mr. Spam in the neck...
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Then to be Continue~
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Now the conscripts shoot the major.
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"Whad did you do, comrade? I have to shoot you now, you know..." says comissar when dead Major falls the ground.
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Then a PE noob runs over the commisar in a light AT Halftrack
Noob(In TeamSpeak): WTFF
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Your guys like destroying stuff like this, do ya?
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and promptly runs over the consciprts ans seeme.
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Ok lets restart. Ill go first:
One day some some Assault Greinders were resting near a tank when they heard a noise...
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'Panzers Panzers!'
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Everyone started running and then..
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Erm.. They saw it was A PzIV!
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The Commendant slaped the grenadiers for not being able to tell the difference between german and soviet tanks...
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"The difference is when their tanks shoot ours they do nothing, but when our tanks shoot Soviet ones, they just blow up in hell, herr Commendant!" shouted embarassed grenadiers.
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"Thats right!" The commendnat shouted. "Now go...
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Then the Grenadier about to go but stopped and think for a while. He ask the commendant. " Go where sir? "
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.... to.... Berlin. Yes, go straight to Berlin, it an order!
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"Why, Herr Kommändant?" The Grenadier Gruppenführer asked.
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I forgot my coffee and cant lead the charge without it.
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The grenadier said "i have an better idea Herr Kommändant, lets loot the local village for coffee.
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"But Gruppenführer, the Local village is guarded by Stumovie Ingenery with Captured Assault rifles? "
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"we will use our mortar halftrack to flush the enginery out!" said the gruppenführer
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and when their flushed out, all we have for support is some Measily Volksturmm!" *- Replys the Oberführer.
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The Grenadier Gruppenführer replied "no denfense can withstand ouer incendiary grenades, if we do not succeed secureing the village, well burn it down!"
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Then, one of the grenadiers smelt smoke. He looked behind him and his butt was on fire. He screamed and ran into the local sewage pond.
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Thenm the Gruppenführer led a charge with Bayonets, Mortar HT's and PzIVAusf.E's on the Village!
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At the same time dozens and dozens of conscripts started running to the Gruppenführer yelling : "OH SHIT YOU WONT TAKE OUR COFFEE" and then ...
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the panzer 4s lock down and waste all the conscripts! After that....
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appear Strelky with banners!
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A squad of flame pios flank them and burn their flags!!!
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The Russians get said and cry because there flags are gone and then the Germans ran them over with half trucks but then...
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The komandant was shot from a SniperACE.
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Out of revenge, the sniper ace's hidy hole was burnt to the ground with incendiary mortars.
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Then they saw his hair on fire because of the incendiary mortar that exploded nearby. But he didn't realise that his hair was fire until someone...
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blow his head off with well aimed shot!
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Then a T-90 Appears with a horde of Guards with DP-28's!
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The Grenadiers starts riverdancing, making the vodka drunk T-90 driver distracted so he runs all the guards down.
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Then a lot of IL-2 Sturmovik started firing at ...everything, making of this old farm, a burning hell. At the same time, Comrade Stalin said to his officiers :"....
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"Fuck 'em up!"
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But Stalin was misunderstood and people thought he said, "Duke Nukem's pup!"
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So, Duke Nukem appeared against the German Wehrmacht!
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And got shoot 20 times when he tried to shake hands with a the Germans.
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As you can see Stalin was underestimating the Wehrmacht forces, and reinforcements arrived, from the 10th Panzer Division leaded by Rommel.
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And Rommel said :"STALLLLLIN my darling, I'm coming home !"
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When Stalin saw Rommel he thought that all is lost, and global revolution is over, so he called his comrades to Krermlin and they were drinking vodka and singing, while...
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Rommel kicked the soviets butts in the town.
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And Rommel started running at Stalin. Stalin decided to end this nonsense story by ...
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closing this thread ;D
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~THE END~
~ f i n ~
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closing this thread ;D
(http://media.klokaste.se/2010/03/maestro-rommel.jpg)
Rommel does not approve!
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This is a nonstop story,read the title. >:(
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This is a nonstop story,read the title. >:(
{ LOL just some people just wanna end you story and create next episode. }
[Continue...]
When Rommel Doesn't approve, Stalin decided to run/flee while Rommel pull a Luger out and shoot at Stallin, But it hit Stalin pants and Stalin run with his pants down until...
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a german soldier steps on his pants. Stalin falls on his face -> owned ;D
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a german soldier steps on his pants. Stalin falls on his face -> owned ;D
[Should be 1 sentence, read the first post]
Meanwhile, one KCH steps onto Stalin's trap - racial time-machine, making all German Nation displaced in time-space continuum.
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and replacing it with Vikings!
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This is a nonstop story,read the title. >:(
{ LOL just some people just wanna end you story and create next episode. }
[Continue...]
When Rommel Doesn't approve, Stalin decided to run/flee while Rommel pull a Luger out and shoot at Stallin, But it hit Stalin pants and Stalin run with his pants down until...
Wait, Rommel loves Stalin he couldn't shoot at him !
This is NONSENSE NONSTOP story XD
The vikings were afraid of all the new weapons as the M1A1 Thompson, the sherman, the coca-cola ...
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But Rommel disappeared when he went into a time warp.
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And was replaced by Eric the Red! And he shouted his battlecry, and Viking's Drakkars on treads blitzed remaining Soviet forces!
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Then the vikings stepped on another time trap making everything back to when the Germans were about to invade the town.
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And a grenadier says: "Hans, your coffee not only sucks, but it gives me weird nightmares!"
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then the other Greanadier Straps hans to 6 tonne of TNT, throwing him into the water.
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Resulting in a big explosion that throws water at the Kommandant
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Then the Kommandant crys because hes wet.
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He then drinks a sip of the coffee himself and gets on a drug high. He screams,
"Whoah! Flying octopus!" and runs around trying to catch it.
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Suddenly a Russian comes out of nowhere and watches him and says:
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"I will paint Red Square with there blood!!!"
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But he realised he had no rifle, so then he...
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Ran to the armory, expecting to get some rifles for him and his comrades, but then...
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Comrade Stalin was hiding there and he gave them each a big piece of plywood to....
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build something that would....
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They would build this thing Bigger than Tiger Ace tank
(http://pcmedia.gamespy.com/pc/image/article/719/719259/war-front-turning-point-20060717023156626.jpg)
-( FROM WAR FRONT TURNING POINT, SOVIET FACTION )
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But then the flying octopus ate the super-tank and crapped out a...
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King TIger Ace Veteran!
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Unfortunately for the germans, the wet officier came in and the water has block the canon (don't tell me how XD), and the MGs (all of them :O), so stralin decided to ...
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Send in the IS-3 Ace King Badass Thing!
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slap the hell out of the grenadiers which are armed to the teeth with...
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Futuristic Kalashknikov '47's.
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And with all this stuff they sides met up on the town again and began too...
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dance
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b00gie.
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Until they noticed that the soviet town was now ruled by the Americans
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but suddenly 5 sniper aces kill all the wermacht grenadiers
and stalin starts dancing RickRoll'D (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0#) then out of nowhere..
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comes a drunk American soldier...
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And everyone gets confused, meaning...
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that british commandos stole the coffe undercover from the
russians but...
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the sniper ace wasn't drunk.. and had his scope on.
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his pillow. The drunk American walks to a drunk Canadian and thy have a fight about what country makes the best...
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and Mexican comes and shoot them both and win :D
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And then the Comrade Stalin comes in and kills the Mexican with his......
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...super evil smile !!!
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and moustache ;)
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But the Mexicans invite Stalin onto to the throne as El Presidente del Republico de los Estados Unidos de Mexico, mostly because of his moustache.
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But the Mexicans invite Stalin onto to the throne as El Presidente del Republico de los Estados Unidos de Mexico, mostly because of his moustache.
With mexico and russia in his power he can siege north america, sending his forces through Alaska, while commanding mexican conscripts to attack the south border of US :D.
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Then the evil leaders if the world(Stalin, Hitler. Etc) come together and argue about who has the better mustache on a political talk show. After that they about the USA. Then all of a sudden...
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Admiral Alfred von Tirpitz rizes out of the ground a bellows,
"I have the greatest facial hair!"
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c3/Bundesarchiv_Bild_134-C1743%2C_Alfred_von_Tirpitz.jpg)
Can someone shrink that for me?
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Lol that's big. Ok keep on with the story.
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Admiral Alfred von Tirpitz rizes out of the ground a bellows,
"I have the greatest facial hair!"
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c3/Bundesarchiv_Bild_134-C1743%2C_Alfred_von_Tirpitz.jpg)
Can someone shrink that for me?
OWNED!
(http://www.pensionriskmatters.com/Santa%20Claus.jpg)
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OWNED by Comrade Stalin's Santa Costume and mask.
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While Alfred was owned by Comrade Stalin's Santa Costume, Hitler started thinking about his (very) small moustache and he decided to ...
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...use magic hair growth cream, but he got it confused with shaving and accidentally shaved off his mustache. Meanwhile, Alfred, upset about being beaten by Stalin Claus, ran away and got into a U-boat and went with it to the bottom of the ocean for a slow suicide.
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But before he killed himself he launched a nuker bomb under the north pole to blow up santa's house.
Also Hitler now wears a fake musta, and its...
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made of back hair. But Hitler didn't know that until...
I wanted to put something even more disgusting, but changed my mind. :P
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He looked at the mirror, he then shouted...
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''Mein Gott" who stole my BACKSHAIR and why is there a pitchfork in that........
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Guys head! Just then he saw...
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ME!!!!!! killing his.............
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Commanding General!
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And then his other commending Generel killed...
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Decided to try and kill me with the pitchfork, but he.........
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Killed Hypersniper instead!
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Ok, let's go back with our Comarade Stalin and his super friend Santa Claus, they came back to Russia together, with the idea to conquer south pole which is controlled by evil penguins, armed to the teeth with fish ...
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sticks and automatic pitchfork rifles which shoot pitchforks at 5000 ppm (pitchforks per minute). Fear the penguins because......
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thay also have whales cannons!
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As they were on a boat going to the south poll, they saw...
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... Jack Sparrow and the black pearl, Stalin decided to kill Jack and to destroy the black pearl, they were approching the south pole coast when a penguine wanted to fly, making them laughing so hard, but they didn't expect that ...
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Tirpitz was waiting for them too in his U-boat. He said, "F**k it all to hell." and blew up both the Black Pearl and Stalin boat with torpedos and saved the day. He then gave HyperSniper (the one they killed was his double) a fist bump and they all lived happilly ever after. The end. :)
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The end of 0.000001th of the story, because...
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ME and my Ion Cannon destroy the U-Boat, and kill everyone on the ship and personaly insure the execution of Tirpitz and Hypersniper with my pitchfork rifle. Then i bring Stalin back to life and he.......
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makes sure that his musta is good, but then what he also did was...
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raise a 100ft Mecha Lenin Spider doom fortress from the depths of the ocean piloted by zombie Jack Sparrow. Jack leaned out of the window and shouted...
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where is my rum?!
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Before being hit by a Torpedo from GroBadmiral Karl Doenitz's boat.
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Before the destruction of the Lenin Spider doom fortress, Stalin took Santa's body and ate it, so he gained all of his super power, now he can fly, he decided to go to ...
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The Netherlands, to buy some weed. This was mediweed so it also removed Stalin's superpowers and now...
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Donitz is back, Donitz is back..
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With a pitchfork to kill Stalin. He starts walking to the Netherlands when he realized...
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that on his right hand side was..
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Getting devoured by a shark, he then...
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...ate the shark, and inside the shark there was ...
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a shark
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But.. this shark was made of SOVIET STEEEL.
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He then went :o and...
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HyperSniper got pissed off people kept killing him, so he told them all to stop. :)
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And then Neos and his Conscripts slaughter Hypersniper, and then.....
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Everyone stopped and thought for a second, realizing...
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that HyperSniper was a Demigod and would end the world if he was killed again.
Don't say I didn't warn you. ;)
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So I take the bridge while everyones distracted in this thread and slink off to my parrelel universe with Dr. Horrible and Bad Horse.
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Stuiped akaloner, stop disrupting the story.
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But some drunk commisars shot at him, revealing ...
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that there was no more vodka to drink!!!! :o :o :o
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Because me and my friends stole it for my party, but......
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they dropped them, and realised the vodka was...
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poisonus
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and Acidic!
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And gone!
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Because i used it as a distraction to steal all the Bourbon and Schnapps at the party, and then me and my friends got drunk, starting killing things with our pitchforks and AK-103s, but then.......
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,as you were drunk, you both shot at yourselves, and died.
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then it appeared you had the Martyrdom perk, and killed everyone in the room.
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Well, after this round, Stalin decided to change his perks, he took ...
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commando pro and jumped out of the window just to find that...
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He was about to get killed by zombie Neos!!!! He then...
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Got scared crapped his pants, and decided to make an alliance with me, i said yes sure but then i bit him and gained back all my lifeforce, and with him as a Stalin Zombie i seal him into a special underground cavern filled with Zombie-hating Vampires, and then......
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Stalin killed you because in soviet russia Stalin bite the zombies and in soviet russia Stalin eats your brain, you die (and you can't now add something which includes you cause your dead :O)
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Not if Hitler gives him akaloner's special life potion! He wants him to kill stalin.
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Unfortunately, as Stalin ate his brain, Neosdark killed Hitler, Stalin decided to ...
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That dosent make sense...
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I bring myself back to life by telling everyone who says im dead to go read a manga and while they are distracted, i sneak up behind them and kill them, and then......
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you go back to the eastern front, where a Kampfgruppe is under attack by some Strelkys, you decided to lead the charge when ...
@Seeme : Isn't it Nonsense story ? Aw it's nonstop story xD
And btw it makes sense, neosdark's brain was eaten by Stalin, he wasn't able to think so he killed Hitler (he was close to neosdark).
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one of the Strelkys Soldier ask what is that falling from the Sky. It looks like a round disk floating down slowly.
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The Strelkys grab it and give it to their commander then...
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They saw it was a letter from heaven! It read...
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It said- an Enemy Maus Tank is in the sector. Prepare to be obliterated by the Indestructable Tank. Even M1Abrams cannot destroy it.
(http://greyfalcon.us/restored/myPictures/Maus.f.jpg)
( Wish CoH got this beauty )
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The indestructible tank got stuck in a ditch and...
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And all the crew jump out to find away to pull it out except the driver in the Maus Tank remain seated in the Driver seat. Soon, they found a Super Bulldozer. But when a crew hope on it, the found that the Bulldozer is missing something...
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which happened to be the gas, so...
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they piocapped fuel.
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Unfortunately this was not uber-unleaded, so...
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they took the fuel out of the maus and put it in the bulldozer and got it out, but they stupidly forgot to leave some in the Maus so now...
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they turned it's KwK-44 Anti-Tank gun into a 128mm Howitzer, and then...
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they ate lunch, atfer that.....
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they loaded the Howitzer.. And after that...
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they ate supper and went asleep
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and after that they woke up to eat breakfast. They commented on the cereal and argued about whose going to go to the super market today.
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They decieded Von Beck should go, and while he went, soviets stole the Maus-Howitzer!!!!
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Their commander arrived and yell at them because they didn't let him know about the super market visit and wanted some snacks but the russians blown him with the Maus-Howitzer.
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Then Von beck comes back with the snacks and the russians surrender so they can have them too. SO then...
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Von Beck decided to give one of the man crew as a gift to the soviets, they decided to ...
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Tell the whole division to be friends with the German one and they had a big party. But then...
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British are angry because they didn't get invited and go to mess up the party.
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To do this, the english soldiers changed the vodka and remplaced it by water...
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The russians gets angry and riots start to occur. They let their anger out on the germans and ther officers.
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The British Crash their party and they just set back and enjoy the show. Then all Sudden
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The Americans come and get mad at the British for Re-Starting WW2, so they...
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Then between these 2 fighting each other again.
Poster been paste around the city in the country.
For British - John Bull
(http://www.sonofthesouth.net/uncle-sam/images/john-bull.jpg)
For American - Uncle Sam
(http://www.sonofthesouth.net/uncle-sam/images/uncle-sam.jpg)
And triggers out to be alternate WW2
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The Americans win by default because of their Abrams tanks and Apache Helos , then...
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Then the American capture London. Then the British decided to cease-fire and the British Declare independent
(http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/british/images/usjb.jpg]http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/british/images/usjb.jpg])
Then the Soviet Found out who crash the party and they were so mad until.....
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The UK Resistance sighed a Alliance with the USSR to crush Capitalism!
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But the UK resistance has to work alone as the USRR has invaded Afghanistan, ...
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And since this was WW2 and now its somehow today Germany helps the USA so now the sides are even, resulting in...
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...the start of the "hot war" ...
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They they saw Luxembourg stashing all there food, so every nation...
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...Prepare for battle.
It Begins the Red Alert not long later.
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Then amazingly, Luxembourg won and took over the world. Now, they...
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get the eiffel tower, the statue of liberty, the bradenburg gate, the big ben and the spasskaya tower as loot and move them to their country.
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and blow them up as a show of force.
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t keep Faktorie-Vodka
Post Merge: September 08, 2010, 08:59:46 AM
but* sorry.
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But then Ireland gets made and declares war on Luxembourg and...
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frees the world (IRA tactics ftw)
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Now Ireland owns the world, so Vatican City takes a stand..
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...And the pope pretends to be irish not to be killed.
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But then Nazi Space people liberate everyone and now theres 1 giant country called "Earth"
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Everything was fine on earth until the assault of the evil .. dolphins ...
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There was a epic struggle on Antarctica until the Humans realized they didn't care anymore so they went out. The dolphins froze to death and the world was free again.
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But then the army of Space Nazis came back and decided that it was their turn to take over the world and their Ion Cannon. They shoot it but miss the Polar Ice Caps instead hit Africa. The World declares war on the Space Nazis and.........
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...WIN!
Now, the space communists and space capitalists start the cold war (in space), and...
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The Space Newbie's win!
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Then the world decides to make a "Democracy" Nation in space. No, with all 3 sides, they...
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Play poker, betting human lives and territories :-X!!.
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But the space-UN does not look very kindly to this.
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So they deployed a Task group, then..
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They make a agreement that Fascist get Europe, Communist gets Asia, and Democracy gets The Americas. Africa and Australia are owned by everyone.
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But then me and my Anarcho-Marxists launch nukes at the Facists and Capitalists, and blow up the Space U.N. Then we take over Asia and...........
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realize that the vikings have returned with a huge army
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The vikings Destroy all the Nukes so now there is a big army that...
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are finnish.
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Now, they...
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Board there Longboats and ride away into the.......
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Nowhere land. While they were making there nowhere plans, they saw...
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A PITCHFORK!!!!!! They were so scared they asked my people for safe haven, but we
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had been thrown out by the Soviets because...
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The Soviets think they have Virus. It is called...
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Capitalism, then an army of penguins arrived and ate all those soviets that thought were safe inside, and ...
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Then a army of polar bears came and had a giant fight. It ended...
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With all the Polar bears getting drunk and the Soviets getting the world to themselves, but then Lenin pops out of his grave and.......
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Shouts:
You get back to Russia Mister!(s)
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than I stop the Story.
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Then I extra kill akaloner on the "My bridge" topic and reopen the story.
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The polar bears and Zombie Lenin try to eat Akalonor but...
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Shaun (Of the dead) whacks them with a cricket bat and..
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Than I stop the story again.
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Then Zombie Lenin Went back up and ate akaloner, making the story go on again.
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when suddenly zombie Akalonor rose up and...
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Died again.
How do you like that Akaloner?
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I stop the stroy again , and Im inside an invulnerable bubble.
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Then I again kill Akaloner and Restart the story.
You have to guess the Password to stop the story.
*CoughPasswordisCoughCoughAkalonerlovesCoughRunescapeCough*
I need a glass of water :D
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"Akalonorlovesrunescape"
password accepted
I end the story before it begins.
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Then I reopen the story because the runescape people carry akaloner away.
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Then when restarting the story again your computer has a "FATAL ERROR!" and then your house power got cut off. Then your hair is standing so high up and you fell cold. You realise is a
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enemy of yours(akalanor) that cut your electricity you reconnect it and you rush in akalanors house killling him and you restart the story again.....
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Stuiped Akaloner...
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got so frustrated that abandoned his cause in stopping this Miraculous never ending story......( 8))
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Then I keep the story going because I feel like it :P
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Then, i drop a 152cm (Yup, Centimetre, not MM :)) on the Runescape lovers.
I then conqour Seeme.
My Seeme.
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Then i pop out of my secret Space base and fire my Ion Cannon at Newbie. Then i return to earth and get Seeme's half consious body out of there and get him to a medic in my space base. Then we put up the Shields (u can't shoot us down :) ) and thats' all folks.
My Seeme
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Umm... Ok....
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Then Zombie Lenin arrive, with his army of communist zombies and attack neosdark, then...
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Seeme runs away while everyone is distracted...
My Seeme(I guess)
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I use my Ion cannon to kill all the Zombies and uses a new Vaccine to turn Zombie Lenin into real Lenin. Then we join forces and kill Blackbishop. Then I come back to Earth and recapture Seeme with a butterfly net.
Me and Comrade Lenin put Seeme in a special Test tube and using a special DNA re-coder i made, turn him into a COMRADE STALIN.
Your Seeme evolved into a COMRADE STALIN :))
MY SEEME-STALIN. RAWR.
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the tube then brakes.
The area self-destructs.
I catch Seeme.
My seeme.
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Seeme wants to be free!
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With a hero-like effort, Maxi rushes into Newbies secret bunker and liberates Seeme, hoping that moderators won't ban him for such a belated action! :D
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*Catches Rizz out of the corner of his eye with a legendary ban-hammer*
Cranial runs in the path of Rizz, whom was heading for Maxiking, and stood in the way of the attack, which banned him.
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Maxi is shocked and pleased at the same time and starts extreme-hugging Cranialwizard and doesn't stop for a long long time. Meanwhile..
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Rizz reloads his legendary ban-hammer and bans Maxi and Cranialwizard the second time.
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Cranial uses a proxy to gun down Rizz
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While that happens, Maxi gets out his World Builder and spawns Seeme, Cranial and himself in it using Scar code. However, the map is still WIP and many many crazy things can happen on it. Currently, the three guys are chilling in a farmhouse whose backyard is currently made by RL Maxi. Evil Rizz and Bad Walki are left back in Newbies bunker and unable to reach the other guys.
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Then Seeme gets confused and starts running in circles.
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In the meantime, Maxi got that map ready and tests it ingame. Seeme is still running in circles and Maxi wonders what to do with him, so..
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Maxi decides to rewrite the current patch's EF script and change normal off map Arty shells to drop V1s instead. The V1s start to fall and Seeme (and Cranial) about to die when they are saved by "Sync Error Detected". Relic arbitrates the match and EF decides that there were balance issues involved, so in EF's next patch they rebalance CoH by allowing German Firestorm to fire 2,000,000,000,000 Caliope rockets instead. This creates a backlash against EF and a howl of outrage by RedGuard AND IJoe who quit CoH altogether until it is fixed... :P
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Then Rizz and Cope and Dragon and all the other devs are like "Oh my god that's unbalanced" and retreat to their secret beta balance bunker and are away for a while. In the meantime, pariah, Seeme-reborn and all the other non-beta guys spam the forum horribly, so that..
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*In the evil balance bunker*
Cranial laughs evily.
Muhahaha. Gentlemen...
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Then Rizz and Cope and Dragon and all the other devs are like "Oh my god that's unbalanced" and retreat to their secret beta balance bunker and are away for a while. In the meantime, pariah, Seeme-reborn and all the other non-beta guys spam the forum horribly, so that..
EF servers completely meltdown and none of the developers are able to communicate through the forums. Feeling guilty. Pariah decides to invest another $500 to EF and they buy another server.
*In the evil balance bunker*
Cranial laughs evily.
Muhahaha. Gentlemen...
-
*In the evil balance bunker*
Cranial laughs evily.
Muhahaha. Gentlemen...
I smell bad things will be done with balance.. :-[
Then Rizz and Cope and Dragon and all the other devs are like "Oh my god that's unbalanced" and retreat to their secret beta balance bunker and are away for a while. In the meantime, pariah, Seeme-reborn and all the other non-beta guys spam the forum horribly, so that..
EF servers completely meltdown and none of the developers are able to communicate through the forums. Feeling guilty. Pariah decides to invest another $500 to EF and they buy another server.
Pariah is now out of funds and decides to work as a paid animator for EF, being paid from what people donate to EF. That's not much, but it's enough for him to..
-
...Donate it back. ;D
-
But pariah messes up the animations completely and so Hartkeks is becoming active again and completes Ostheer animations..
-
And the pariah is banned for the royal fuck-up. :-[
-
..but is coming back as "loner". So he continues EF forum spamming, while...
-
And then is promptly banned again, because Maxi gave away his new name...
-
...But TheDzierzanPL arrived, and killed them all...
-
that's not fair, man! :'(
Anyway, Dzierzan is banned by blackbishop, who survived the slugfest because he is poster of the Soviet Union. Same for WartyX and BurroDiablo.
-
...but dzierzan was brave, he killed all devs and became indestructible...and meanwhile he ate die schokolade...
-
which chocolate ???
-
he's probably talking about what the devs eat :P
Anyway, it turns out "die schokolade" was poison (600000% Dark!). Since dzierzan killed all of the developers (who could have told him what the chocolate was) there was no way of knowing, he can't find the cure so he dies a miserable death as well :)
(p.s I suppose he could have crawled his way to a chemist but I'll cover that scenario too, since he was delusional when he was crossing the road he got run over by a car driven by George W. Bush (which is still a miserable death!) )
-
I realize this story is about stretching the truth, but the notion that W. knows how to operate an automobile is just way too unbelievable. :P :D
-
:) I was suprised myself. He was arrested under the charge "Reckless driving" and "driving with out a licence and without proper supervison". His defence was he was fighting a "war against terror". Fortunately EF doesn't own an oil field... or does it?
-
Actually, the pariah happened to buy an oil field just recently, to further help fund Eastern Front, as well as an armed militia to guard it, as well as the mod team, from the forces of "justice". 8) ;D
-
OHHHHH S**T!
Now I know why W. was there now!!! OMFG, Pariah why didn't you warn us :'(.
How much are you paying them? Can I apply for a/the job? :D
Seriously we are getting side-tracked :P
Anyway, it turns out "die schokolade" was poison (600000% Dark!). Since dzierzan killed all of the developers (who could have told him what the chocolate was) there was no way of knowing, he can't find the cure so he dies a miserable death as well :)
(p.s I suppose he could have crawled his way to a chemist but I'll cover that scenario too, since he was delusional when he was crossing the road he got run over by a car driven by George W. Bush (which is still a miserable death!) )
-
Sorry man, but i can't be expected to keep track of every single oil field i happen to buy! :P ;D Besides, i only just got out of my 3-hour champagne bath. ::)
I pay my militia by not shooting them when they are working.
-
Seriously we are getting side-tracked :P
Anyway, it turns out "die schokolade" was poison (600000% Dark!). Since dzierzan killed all of the developers (who could have told him what the chocolate was) there was no way of knowing, he can't find the cure so he dies a miserable death as well :)
(p.s I suppose he could have crawled his way to a chemist but I'll cover that scenario too, since he was delusional when he was crossing the road he got run over by a car driven by George W. Bush (which is still a miserable death!) )
Actually, the pariah happened to buy an oil field just recently, to further help fund Eastern Front, as well as an armed militia to guard it, as well as the mod team, from the forces of "justice". 8) ;D
Well these two sum up the story so far :P
-
Maxi, now in a sense of imperialism, begins a major offensive in the Australian desert against pariahs oilfields. Maxi fields two heavy Panzer armies and several motorized infantry divisions. His attack begins at a beautiful morning and at 0500, his StuKas attack the first oilfield.
-
The pariahs militia then retaliates with their boomerangs, forcing the Panzers to retreat back to the ocean at 0501. The pariah then buys a replacement oil field, and takes another relaxing champagne bath after all this stress. 8)
-
Then Seeme comes.
-
Then leaves.
-
Then I call in a random squad consisting of Lumberjack Commandos, Scottish Highlanders and some of the finest war elephants from Hannibals grave. Together, they stomp pariahs oilfields once again and in the end, one of my fellow snipers shoots your bathtub and all the champaign vaporizes on the hot desert soil.
My pariah, my oilfields. I make my self "Great Rabbi of Australia" and appoint Cranialwizard to my Supreme General. Seeme is appointed to my courts cutup.
-
The pariah then takes this opportunity to invade Germany, taking it over. Time to buy another oil field, me thinks.
-
Pariah's request for an oilfield is met with skeptism from Germany's Greenpeace who believe oil fields damage the enviroment.
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5049027 (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5049027)
They decide to take the proposal to court. Pariah is asked to hire a lawyer...
-
The pariah uses his boomerang militia to forcefully take the oil field, and bleed the country dry.
-
Then Maxi arrives with a watering can.
-
But cranial flies with a Henschel and scares Maxi and causes him to drop the watering can.
-
However, the watering can contained radioactive acid and now everything is contaminated. Germany now looks like Megaton in Fallout 3.
-
This country ain't no good no more. Time to rape France, now.
-
I'm German. I'm not allowed to rape France. Could anyone else do it, please?
Errm and yeah - Me is still "Great Rabbi of Australia" :P
-
Ì need a new home. ;)
-
Maxi (opens MineCraft, builds a little house out of dirt, exports it to RL and places it in the middle of France):
"Here you are!"
-
I miss my diamond-encrusted champagne bath. :'(
-
Mid while why your fighting for Europe, Seeme is now King of The Americas and starts transporting everything that Europe has that's Awesome (Besides Swedish Fish). Now your fighting a for a pointless land.
-
Seeme even stole Great Britain and continues stealing other islands. Meanwhile, France is conquered and pariah is having fun in Moulin Rouge. Maxi however starts building an Atlantic Wall on Frances cost to prevent Seeme from stealing the Eiffel Tower.
-
Seeme eats GB crusine and falls ill. Fortunately he's Mr Spam for a reason :P
Maxi's great Atlantic wall is due to be finished in 6 weeks. Like history, Maxi takes a break and drives around Paris (like Hitler did) at 5 am in the morning and goes sight seeing. Unlike history, Seeme attacks Normandy* at 12am 5th June catching the soldiers completely off-guard (damn it!). The invasion of Normandy has begun 12am 5th June. 1 day early :D
*No! the treaty system is broken as... KK
-
Fortunately, Germany made up with the Soviet Union and the Normandy gets spammed by loads of T-34s. Letz starrt woar agenzt kapitalismus, kameraden!
While Germany made up with Russia, Stalin made out with Hitler..
-
Fortunately, Germany made up with the Soviet Union and the Normandy gets spammed by loads of T-34s.
Stalin is makes out with Hitler..
Paladin88 reports this as a balance issue to the EF forums... wait the EF forums are non-existent. Paladin88 reports it to the devs... wait the devs are dead... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I want them back so I resurrect Rizz and the rest. Plz help guys... Maxi is being a meanie. :P
As for Stalin and Hitler ...
-
Hitler and Stalin invite Churchill and Roosevelt over to their place to play We Dare. They have a rather... interesting night. ;)
-
Hitler and Stalin invite Churchill and Roosevelt over to their place to play We Dare. They have a rather... interesting night. ;)
Mussolini crashes their party.
-
Mussolini: "Hey guys, whatcha doin'?"
Hitler: "You're supposed to be in bed!"
-
Meanwhile Emperor Hirohito stands in front of the door, wondering why he wasn't invited.
-
Emperor Hirohito decides to fall on his sword, because of the disgrace of not being invited, essentially leaving Stalin, Hitler, Churchill and Roosevelt to deal with the corpse. They have to find a culprit since who's going to believe he just fell on his sword :P
(so begins the game of whodunit...)
-
Hitler points at Patton who is put in a jeep and the driver is secretly a nazi and crashes the jeep.
Meanwhile I sort of feel bad for the emperor.
-
lol, Patton is dead? Speaking of which if I can remember correctly he in fact died in a car crash right after the war so you are following the earlier than usual theme :).
Patton probably dies (or not) and leaves the Big 4 with another whodunnit problem. 2 corspes (or perhaps 1) on their hands and they all need to be cleared of it.
Meanwhile, the german quad cannon outside is doing 360 degrees spins at max speed :) (Bloody Joyriders)
-
And it shoots the dead body's, making them go to pieces, so now its just a blob of red. No problem until
-
the Big 4 come out of their.. adventure paradise house and keep slipping on the mixture of blood, rain and scattered organs. Hitler however becomes unpatient of slipping again and again and a red little icon starts blinking above his head, which is known in the forum as blood lust or manliness and Hitler starts eating his way through the human leftovers.
He doesn't stop until
-
He sees 2 other dead bodys. He is so full so he
-
has to puke and calls in the SdKfz 10 to heal him. In the meantime
-
He dares Stalin to eat the other body, since he did, but Stalin said:
-
"Sorry not a German so no bloodlust me. Gotta go kill some Wehrmacht and just use the stolen American veterancy first."
Then Hitler and Stalin's mustaches rip off their faces and have a little fight. The winner is...
-
Stalin's :D
Hitler ashamed of his puny mustache decides to take a "break" in Vienna. Stalin's goes on to become the face of the EF poster :)
-
But he didn't count Seeme in, who comes along and goes in the Photobox together with Stalin. After spending half an hour in there, Seeme comes out, walking like a stork (you probably know why). In his hand he holds some pictures he scrunched up because of the strange motifes.. Stalin smokes a cigarette. The result of their photobox adventure is the new EF loading screen, featuring Seeme AND Stalin.
However, Hitler...
-
Hitler saw Stalin smoking a cigarette. Trying to outdo Stalin, Hitler smokes a cigar. He chokes on the smoke and swallows the cigar. Meanwhile, Churchill just stands there laughing hysterically at the epic fail, while he himself is smoking a cigar like a pro. 8)
-
Meanwhile, Roosevelt vanished in hi secret lab to create something special..
-
A Pipe!
-
So Roosevelt has the biggest thing to smoke and even Churchill gets embarassed. He is so embarassed that he starts to attack the U.S. Unfortunately, the United States stole Great Britain in the past 10 hours, so Churchill has to rely on his Commonwealth allies, so he sails to Canada..
-
and is attacked by canadian bears ;D.
-
which are protected by the legendary
(http://www.neilhillman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/demotivational-posters-15.jpg)
so that...
-
Patton Crys.
-
So Patton leaves.
-
Meanwhile MacArthur and Eisenhower do a dance.
-
when Adolf hitler in a King Tiger came in and...
-
invites MacArthur and Eisenhower in his Blitzkrieg Bunker. In this bunker...
-
They play Spin The Bottle, but Blitzkrieg-style. ;D
-
The the bottle breaks, so MacArthur
-
Pulls out a revolver and places it on the table.
"Spin the gun, whomever it points to has to load 2 bullets into it and spin it and then put it to his head and fire."
-
Stalin, sitting in a dark corner of the room, spying the group, hears that and runs away. In Soviet Russia, he introduces a new game, Russian Roulette.
-
But people in russia get bored of that game because you can only play it once. Meanwhile in the Blitzbunker ...
-
both MacArthur and Eisenhower died because they had (bad) luck playing MacArthurs funny game. So Hitler...
-
was very sad to loose such great playing mates. He decided to prevent this aweful game and invented a time machine. But Hitler, besides having talent in being an artist, was an terrible engineer and missed the correct spot while travelling back in time. So he ...
-
ended up on the head of a gigantic Dinosaur.
-
The Dinosaur was not that happy to have hitler on his head. So he shake him off and saw him in his face. Frightened of Hitlers mustache (no Dinosaur had a mustache back then) the Dinosaur ran away. Hitler used his mustache to spread fear over the Dinosaur and build his own Dinosaur army. Then he yelled at the sky "See that damn Stalin what MY mustache can do"
-
Chaplin regrets not patenting that moustache...
-
Hitler didn't realize it was 65 million years ago and a great meteor came crashing down, eradicating all the dinosaurs. The blast also sends Hitler back into the time stream. He was going back to the Htler bunker but a glitch occured. Hitler was instead taken to a remote village in Russia. There every local (including the women) had a Stalin mustache. Banners of Stalin are found all over the village. Hitler sees an advancing German army. He exclaims, "My Army!" The army turns and enters the village. Hitler sees all the soldiers and armor has Stalin mustaches, and all the soldier don't look too happy.
Then Stalin appears on a cliff above the village. All the soldiers and villagers say, "All hail Stalin, the most glorious leader of Earth!" and bow. Then...
-
Hitler catches the ring, which he won from Sauron during a poker play, and strips it on his finger. He dissapers and ...
-
tries to bludgeon stalin. Unfortunately the ringwraiths turn up so he has to run away...
-
But he finds a Tiger Ace tank and kills all the ringwraiths but then...
-
Gollum appears and bites off Hitlers mustache, where he had been hiding the ring. He runs away and vanishes behind the horizon. There...
-
waits angry Sauron to take the ring back. He got aware of the Hitlers cheating at the poker play, which was played with monopoly cards. Stalin decides to get the ring too. Not because of the rings power, but it belonged to Hitler before. So ...
-
Stalin sends 10 million Conscripts to find Hitler and get the ring, but...
-
the player who should control the conscipts is afk. So...
-
Adlof hitler calls in a nuke which kills everyone around him including himself and stalin so...
-
Seeme comes along.
-
and tells stories about his orange. Suddenly
-
it starts raining oranges (some nuclear reaction) and mustaches (because of all the dead Stalins and Hitlers). So Seeme...
-
activates "The (late) Red Tide".
-
And all the mustaches kill the oranges. Mustaches who are clued together by the blood of the oranges get easily replaced. After that ...
PS: Its offtopic. I wanna know how the story of Hitler and his ring ends. Not of stupid mustaches ;D
-
Stalin emerges from the pile of mustaches (he was in fact composed of them) and uses his Mustache army to kill the rest of the oranges, while...
-
Maxi starts a new map.
-
The pariah is looking forward to that. ;D
-
Burro made a Lenin statue which is placed by Maxi. Stlain, getting angry because he hates statues, joins the map and sprays terror and mustaches. So the pariah..
-
...Is still looking forward to it. :D
-
But is now horrified to see it covered in upper lip hair, so he decides to fumigate the map with chemicals and an air-conditioner, but ......
-
Seeme stops him because
-
he just did it for the lulz
-
Did someone say for te LULZ?
Post Merge: June 30, 2011, 03:29:57 AM
Anyway, Stalin retreats with whats left of his Conscript/Mustache army, planing to rearm his Mustache armies with T-44s and IS-3s, while Churchill.....
-
is getting drunk at the pub and being diplomatically grumpy. The brits decide to hire Kitchener's mustache to combat the others ...
-
...but then they remember that Great Britain doesn't exist anymore 'cause Seeme stole it. Churchill is now even more grumpy and stamps on the ground like a small kid whose sweets have been stolen by some mean teenagers. His had becomes so red that...
-
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8opOMCSidAY/ThJud4VRHkI/AAAAAAAAAEs/bU-G07hj-QM/s400/interesting_nifty_funny_amazing_scanners-exploding-head-3200907241543414499.jpg)
-
Ouch. So Churchill bit the dust, or better, Churchill covered the dust. Hitler comes along and starts laughing. Suddenly, a squad of tusken raiders appears and kidnaps Hitler. They try to eat him, but he tastes just like if you mesh dead fish with dirt, so they throw him out of their tent. To save hitler,...
-
Anakin Skywalker comes along, and uses his lightsaber to cauterize the wounds. After saving Herr Hitler, Anakin is swiftly converted to the Dark Side by him...
-
Because Hitler can't stop setting up Uberweapon plans, he starts drawing some drafts in the sand, and with a shivering hand, he finshes something that looks like an egg. He screams at Anakin: TOOOODESSTERRRRRN (Deathstar..)!!!111..
So they make their way out of Tattooine...
-
and the future Darth Vader slips on a stray banana peel which was improperly discarded by Mussolini.
-
Haha I had to lol hard when I saw your sig combinated with your ava, nice man! ;D
-
Mussolini is enraged that Darth Vader slipped on the banana peel and in an effort to impress hitler shoots him in the face. Much like :
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8opOMCSidAY/ThJud4VRHkI/AAAAAAAAAEs/bU-G07hj-QM/s400/interesting_nifty_funny_amazing_scanners-exploding-head-3200907241543414499.jpg)
-
Darth Vader's Head immediately reforms, shocking Mussolini so much that he becomes senile.
-
But then everything goes fuzzy then white and Adlof hitler wakes up from his hyper sleep in Der riese that he had done to himself and wakes up and see dr richtofan, tank dempsey, nikolai and takeo fighting nazi zombies and asks if he can join them and they say yes so...
-
They shot him because they we bored cause they killed all the Zombies :P
-
Shame, did Hitler have credits remaining :P
-
No Stalin took them after sacking/conquering Berlin.
-
Then after 5 days of none posting...
-
Seeme digs out an old topic. Following this action, he...
-
was quickly banned by Blackbishop for excessive Seemeing (upgraded form of spamming).
Though saying that, I just realised I now have more posts than Seeme... Damn our secret balance forum!
-
Having learned the error of his ways, GodlikeDennis then quits his balancing duties, and spends the rest of his life playing as Brits on The Scheldt. :D
-
I prefer Wehr on the Scheldt. No I'm not joking...
I've been known to slum it on the Scheldt after downing a few and messing around with mates. We're quite the Scheldt team :P.
Anyway, where should we continue the story from? lol
-
A V1 hack comes from one of Dennis' mates and it lands at every enemy point and every enemy base.
-
Dennis' mate reveals himself as Seeme then unveils his evil plan to bring anarchy to the world by destroying CoH using his haxor :P.
-
I prefer Wehr on the Scheldt. No I'm not joking...
Yeah, Wehrmacht is better than Brits. What else is new? :P
A V1 hack comes from one of Dennis' mates and it lands at every enemy point and every enemy base.
Sounds like the Ostheer April fools from last year... ;D
-
But then Rainbow Dragon comes in and with his god like dragon powers he stops seeme
-
Which results in Seeme dividing a complex root of ax^2 + bx + c by zero resulting in...
-
the nucleus of some atoms split.
-
oh s!%&
-
Then, Seeme goes on to playing Lennyburg, when
-
Then, pariah joins the scene, sitting in an AT-AT, shooting at everyone like he was insane. To stop him, ...
-
Rainbow dragon gets chuck norris as a rifleman to beat the s*&! out of him
-
And then he wakes up.......naked in the middle of the highway in the dead of the night.
-
And thinks to himself: "ok dont rush anything, that will a be all going fine" Then a truck stops nearby and guess who jumps out: ...
-
"Your worst nightmare, bro!" It's pariah. The last thing Rainbow Dragon sees is the sole of a huge military boot stomping right in his face. Suddenly,...
-
Seeme comes along and stopps pariah from stomping rainbow. He says: "Only thinking fot yourself, all the joy for you alone" then he ...
-
pulls out a pocket watch and starts hypnotizing pariah, who falls to the ground. Rainbow runs away. Seeme drags pariah off the street and puts him into his trunk. Then, he drives away, his destination is...
-
his music store where redguard is already waiting for them. When they arrive ...
-
Redguard is running through the store, back and forth, wearing a sleeper with a red star on it. He screams, but noone understands him, because he is not able to speak proper words yet. Seeme puts him back into his baby buggy and stuffs the soother back in RedGuards mouth.
The scene is dominated by silence, until...
-
Rainbow dragon in a tiger tank brings beer and rum! :D
-
pariah and seeme shouting "damn german fanboy" and manning a IS3, which seeme had in his pocket, to counter the tiger rush. But Seeme couldnt afford to buy ammunition so they asked dzerzian to assist with his t34. for realz!!!
-
but then rainbow dragon unleashed a secret weapon of his... the King Tiger 2!!!!! which had 2 turrets for firing shells and replaced the MG for a flame thrower
-
Then Maxi joins the scene and throws a Molotow Cocktail on the King Tiger 2s engine. The engine and both turrets explode. Rainbow is gone, but noone knows where to. In the meantime, pariah and Seeme celebrate Victory Day together with Dzierzan, who didn't even need to get a shot at the King Tiger 2 ( BTW: King Tiger is Tiger II - So what is King Tiger II supposed to be? Tiger III?). To celebrate their victory,...
-
Dzierzan desperate of not getting one shot drives to his school and shells it to hell. Meanwhile Seeme is bored of this peace and ...
-
Starts a Political Argument!
-
Then blackbishop swiftly locks the topic. ;D
-
But then Seeme Gets tried of him doing that, so he starts spaming the spam thing on ever topic until...
-
...He joins Red Guard. :P
-
both battle for the "Mr Troll" badge when finally ...
-
Rainbow Dragon comes out from healing his wounds after his king tiger 2 exploded and takes the Mr spam badge and creates a inderstructable forcefield around him
-
Tankbuster using his superior engineering capabilities digs a hole in the ground makes a tunnel comes up behind the King tiger and hits it in its rear armor using a panzerschrek.
-
Rainbow Dragon disappears and A nuclear device is in the Kingtiger and vaporizes tankbuster, killar, pariah and seeme while watching from a safe disstance
-
Then Seeme gets tired of Rainbow Dragon doing stuff, so he....
-
bans him from Offtopic section. He never came back. Seeme could relax now and...
-
Take a break from typing/spamming/trolling. But.....
-
Hi I'm back but I am just relaxing in a panzer 4 tank
-
You Just wrecked the story Rainbow Dragon.
-
You Just wrecked the story Rainbow Dragon.
+1
The story isn't meant to consist only flat and boring 'I steamroll you with this tank' lines. Try to be more creative and don't make yourself god all the time ::)
-
lets start over then : one day a group of storm troopers were fighting americans when a....
-
experimental Nazi UFO flew overhead.
-
the storm troopers looked curiosly at the UFO and said "WTF!?" then they followed it to....
-
the nearby secret Luftwaffe base.
-
They saw Hitler, talking to a couple of small Marsians. The foreigners led Hitler to a big chest and opened it. Hitler pulled something out that looked like a laser cannon for big guys. When the Stormtroopers saw this,...
-
... they clicked their cloak buttons cocked their assault rifles and readied their 6 pack grenades because...
-
they spotted some Rangers in a bush vis-a-vis to them which observed the obscure scene as well. Crouching through bushed, fire up activated, they got close to the Ranges, when suddenly...
-
...one of the rangers farted alerting the...
-
Stormtrooper behind him jumped in the air because of the farts smelliness. The squad was revealed, but due to the fact that Rangers weren't equipped with Thompsons and the Stormtroopers had two Stg44, they won the fight but also revealed themselves to Hitler and the Marsian.
-
The Martian ran into its UFO which turned into a fully equipped weapon platform. The Martian pressed a red button on the console....
-
and the UFO turned into an AT-AT. Starwars-like, it marched straight through the French bocage, but it had to stop, when,...
-
Seeme overloaded the console by over-spam. This killed the thing when...
-
suddenly Hitler pulled out an MG42 ;D
-
K restarting the story
No need for that we restarted with the first post of this page.. ::)
suddenly Hitler pulled out an MG42 ;D
...and shot Seeme. Because his love for Seeme can't be hidden, pariah comes out of some random hedgerows, crying because Seeme is injured. Because pariah isn't dumb, he calls in a ZiS-5 Medic Truck to heal Seeme. It came hearer and nearer and all of Seemes wounds could be healed. Together they vanished again in the bocage. Hitler, angry about his fail,...
-
is shooting his MG42 empty at the hedges where the 2 fellas escaped. several ours sitting and crying he realizes how strange things are. Shouldnt he be right dead now 65 after WWII and what does a medic truck does in his bunker? Then he finally got it! He is a 6 letter word in a internet forum!! Realizing his new electronic powers he begins to hacks the servasadadadaa nsefnsukn HARHARHARHAR nqowiefnwofnweonwefwe ..........
-
... ... ... and bans all moderators to bring faschism to the internet. Calling himself the "Großadministrator", finally has control over the Eastern Front. When he realizes, that it's only a game, he...
-
likes it very much. But soon sadness overcomes him because comp stomping his own mind isnt fun for longer time. Then he creates a new fictional enemy calling him "Redguard" (red because he hates soviets and guards because he fails to destroy them). Finally Hitler has a perfect opponent who is the direct opposite to him: Sovietfanboy and raging against his enemy like hell. Both battle each other happily to their final days.
-
Until Red gets banned for a week.
-
Hitler becomes bored and starts to tag swatikas all around the forum.
-
But Red comes back and post communist symbols to counter the facism(eventually) :D
-
Redguard loses the fight because he is afraid of Hitlers mustache and throws his computer out of his window. It lands on...
-
a pile of dog droppings...
-
and meanwhile hitler is looking for someone else to play with when....
-
Hitler discovers there's a COH Blitzkrieg on the internet
-
And starts playing as the allies(you see he is a spammer)
-
but he sucked. In evry map he created his "secret" fuhrerbunker to command troops, he hadnt built yet. Finally he lost by VP´s. Because of that ...
-
he got mad and unbanned RedGuard
-
RedGuard starts arguing with Hitler about how unbalanced the game is and how "a bunch of axis fanboys infiltrated the forums",etc,etc. Hitler,who coincidentally sucked at EF, argues about how OP the soviets are and how they don't pay for their abilities,etc.
-
Then they secretly love each other and
-
...a child is born (don't ask we how that worked out). They call it...
-
Retler
-
but because Hitlers secret brothers name is Retler already, the exchange the first e by an a. Now his name is Ratler, and so he looks like.
-
Ratler was a symbol of friendship between the Soviet union and Germany. When he killed himself learning that hes dad was the 2nd most evil man in History, Hitler got his Army of Grammar Nazis and...
-
Made an account on EF forums ;D
-
but hitler was then banned from the forums for spamming (and Lying!) about how great he was
-
He with the help of the Blitzkrieg mod, he blitz EF forums defenses when..
-
Seeme comes and...
-
hacks Hitlers comp, effectively uninstalling his BK mod.
-
Since now somehow Seeme is a hacker, he hacks Pariahs Comp to get him 500$, Not knowing that Pariah was going to give him 500$ anyway,...
-
and the money is laundered through various banks and shady organizations eventually landing in Tankbuster's account making him a f*cking millionaire. However since he in inherently evil he gives the money to...
-
A Nigerian prince who needs to hide his money in Tankbuster's bank account while he flees the country but needs some money from him first. :P
-
A Nigerian prince who needs to hide his money in Tankbuster's bank account while he flees the country but needs some money from him first. :P
The Nigerian prince then gets kidnapped by pirates from Somalia while he is trying to leave by sea.
-
"Damn Pirates" he shouts...
-
and jumps off the boat. The Somalians cant find him and.....
-
Hitler finds him and kill him so...
-
now the story doesn't make sense since Hitler is already dead.
-
Due to a twist in the plot, Hitler resurrects with his Nazi zombies and says...
-
"Feel the power of the Reich's doctors!"
-
Because the nazi zombies were made of orcs and dead SS soldiers. This had the effect that...
-
The Company Of Heroes and Dawn Of War worlds merged together!
-
This paradox caused a collapse in the space-time continuum and unleashed the Chaos gods in 1944 France.
-
A cultist gets on top of the Eiffel tower and shouts "for the gods" in his irritating voice and gets vaporised almost immediately by a plasma pistol...(heh heh heh stupid cultist)
-
meanwhile at the imperial guard of earth formed when the chaos gods attacked had made a secret weapon called...
-
Obstheer
-
Their banana tanks were cheaper to produce but more powerful than King Tigers and could be maintained on pineapple juice rather than petrol.
-
So the Germans launch an offensive southwards through the Sahara to come by Pineapple juice. There wasn't much of a defense in the hot desert, so Rommel reached the Ivory Coast without any problems. Farming Pinnaples, Rommel led a calm life, being served by black slaves and commanding his men in peace.
Suddenly, the silence was broken by...
-
By Darth Vader and his 501st stormtrooper chums.
-
who steal the pinapple juice and escape to the Death Star
-
and celebrate a tropical sex party with all those sexy stormies.
-
O_O. Rommel, who is now pissed, decideds to blitz the death star using his Panzer II's and III's. However he cant seem to find any space gear so he...
-
sends V2 rockets And also a prototype missile called the V3
-
With Fails, And Falls somewhere in Berlin.
-
So Hitler orders to kill Rommel. Latter who is by thousand times more intelligent than Hitler escapes to his tropical paradise again and desides to build up an army of native Africans to take revenge.
-
But his plan fails when he discovers there is not much weapons in Africa Besides pointy sticks.
-
So he steals lightsabers from the death star and arms his militia with it.
-
but then they get the power of the force and realising this they turn against rommel
-
Not know Rommel has force powers of his own, Rommel uses force lighting to kill any insurgents.
-
"Burn traitors, burn" he shouts...
-
but then suddenly Yoda appears and kicks the S**T out of rommel
-
but Rommel fights back and uses his wit to convince Yoda to lead his army against Hitler cause he was killing more innocent people than himself. Thus an army of Lightsaber wielding natives charge onto European soil and
-
Hitler gets scared and retreats to Berlin.
-
Where Stalin surrounds him with.....
-
Guards riding velociraptors.
-
And then Cpt. Kirk shows up with his Enterprise.
-
And gets eaten by the dinosaurs :P
-
But he uses his lazer gun to cut open the dinosaur stomach when it swallow him
-
Suddenly Comrade Stalin appears riding a Lazer proof armored T-Rex which
-
Bites Capt. Kirks head off ;D
-
But then Stalin gets run over by A E-100
-
Which then breaks down and Stalin emerges from the wreck with half an engine in his hand (big ass engine on that thing i suppose, but i still) and the E-100's crew run out of the tank as it.....
-
has a nuke in it ;D
-
The nuke destroy all of Berlin but Hitler and STalin is still alive and they start to
-
fight it out amongest the rubble when.....
-
Churchill come riding in on a Churchill AVRE and kills both of them, while smoking a Cuban
-
Which explodes and kills him because cigars always explode in action movies 8)
-
So rainbow dragon in a panzer comes around rebuilds berlin and takes over germany
-
But his kingdom not last long because an asteroid hit and turn everthing into dust including the dinosaur age of Mr. Stalin
-
Then suddenly the rocks and rubble around Berlin rise up (like Dragon Ball Z) and out comes.....
-
Rainbow Dragon! ;D
-
riding a tricycle which suddenly implodes.....
-
Causing Rainbow Dragon severe trauma forever rendering him mute
-
and then the people of Berlin soon surround him and made him pay for the destruction of their beloved city and of course their handsome Hitler
-
but then Rainbow dragon spoke uttering a spell that summons a nuke with t30 second till it explodes and dissapears
-
And then everybody ignored all sentences Rainbow Dragon said that had his own name in them.
-
So we all blow up, but out of the ashes emerges Seeme and his Kubelwagon and
-
started to drive away but he is chased by Rommel and is army that now has E-10000(a tank that weighs 1000000 kg)
-
That sounds scary, but since you haven't been around as long as I have on these forums, you don't know what Seeme's Kubel is capable of, that thing can launch nukes!!!!!
Anyway the Kubel escapes your over sized tank and launches a nuke at it destroying, then
-
Everyone becomes radiated from the nuke, causing them to transform
-
into true nazi zombies and call of duty 5 zombie mode begin..
-
But I bring out my plant armada and we create Plants vs. Zombies which kills all of them zombies, then
-
A army of cows start to eat the plants and the zombies break trough but
-
the zombies can find no brain in neosdark's head because...
-
he zipped it. Now the all the cows attack the zombies because they think that the zombies want to take their food. They cows finally win and you see a peaceful picture of a green meadow, flowers and cows.
The END
-
But this was not the end becouse the imperial japanese army is still undefeated so
-
the japnese army cooks the cows into their famous beef ;D
-
Not realizing that Seeme was still alive with his famous Kubelwagon, Japans makes there on Kubelwagon when...
-
OMNOMNOMNOM Kobe beef, I love that stuff, When my family went to Japan we went straight to Kobe, just to try it
Anyway, The Japanese army get poisoned with because of the cows being tainted by zombie flesh. The Jap Kubel blows up as Seeme arrives on the island and starts a chaotic revolt against the Emperor.
-
I
-
Seeme said it
-
But when all seemed lost, Richtofen, Tank, Takio, and Nikoli show up and beast all fantasy creatures and teleport Seeme back to Germany.
-
But Germany didn't want Seeme so they sent him to France instead to deal with him. :P
-
But the French were so afraid of the Kubelwagon, that they proclaimed him Emperor of the French calling him Seeme Napoleon, granting him the right to control all of France (and dependencies), while Superman....
-
Used his powers to revive Stalin and Lenin so they could crush the capitalist world (USA) ;D
-
,but Lenin decides to reinstate the NEP (New Economic Policy) and kills off Stalin so he doesn't usurp power again, while Seeme plots
-
how he shall download a ostheer demo :o
-
Unfortunately its mobbed by comp stompers who complain that Ostheer is OP and should be nerfed. Worst case scenario (server meltdown!).
-
and while all this happens Lenin rebuilds the USSR and declares war on the French Emperium of France, Marseilles, and Martinique. The first battle occurs in the territory formally known as Brandenburg in Northern Germany, which results in the first true French victory in the last 463 years (30 Years War) and..........
-
USA was so impressed about it that nuked France back to the stone age, in that way they will be remain as losers again and will need 2000 more years to win again, but...
-
the French build Stonehenge in their own country to summon aliens, who give them all their tech back and gives them tech the humans only came up in 3037.
-
But by then the sun exploded and...
-
Chuck Norris asked god to make another sun, thus another star was born, but this one was very slightly smaller so it was a bit more cold, and the French could no longer cultivate grapes thus bankrupting forcing them to officially sell all their good looking women into prostitution, after which
-
Rainbw dragon comes back from his hibernation and asks WHAT THE F!$@ IS GOING ON?!
-
(But we still ignore Rainbow dragon)
the french economy recover and they seek revenge against the USA
-
Who have conquered by this time most of the USSR and are encroaching on France, by pretending to make a D-Day reenactment, while actually landing real soldiers on the beach and beginning an operation, when suddenly.....
-
The French surrender to the US, not wanting to die :P
-
And USA rule the world for a couple of years but then North korea strike against the USA with a E-99 bomb made by the soviets at Kartogha 12 after this USA is
-
Unharmed because the North Koreans forgot about the missile shield America developed in conjunction with the Israelis. Thus the missiles all get destroyed in mid-flight and the North Koreans get attacked by the American Province of South Korea in conjunction with US. Marines and Rangers and get destroyed. Meanwhile Seeme prepares to counter attack against America with E.U. forces, when suddenly
-
his command cruiser sunk in mid-Atlantic and he had to swim back. Wet from the cold-freezing water, he
-
sat at a toasty campfire he built with help of his first mate (who seemingly never got on board the ship, but did in fact see it sink). After returning to the capitol he put the morons who made his command bunker a Ship in the Middle of an ocean into a French gulag (not quite as bad as the Ruskies Gulag, but still terrifying), then proceded to attack American Camps all over Europe, creating WW3:
Everyone V.S. AMERICAN EMPIRE
The first battle......
-
Is the Siberia where the USA forces battle against spetnaz and the ostheer and USA got their arses kicked but
-
The Spetsnaz/Ostheer forces push America back to Chicago. On the way they tear down Times Square in New York and burn the White House in DC.
-
My friends and i form a Resistance army (I'm a New Yorker BITCHES) destroying the Spetznaz army and eliminating them of the Continent. The next battle occurs in Southern France with.........
-
The US vs the French resistence accompanied by renewed but pissed off Spetnaz/Ostheer forces.
-
but both armies are defeated by terminators!
-
(and yet again Rainbow gets bumped) but a drop pod lands on the whole terminator squad killing all of them AH HA HA HA!
-
Out of It comes the 2nd Company of the Blood Ravens
-
Who devastate all around them, when the Army of Comrade Stalin 2.5, emerges with near endless amounts of Conscript Terminators, who overwhelm the Space Marines and send them running.
-
To an Army if Wine Bottles. Since Russians Only ;D like Vodka, they run away in fear.
-
But then the French come and annihilate the wine bottle since they love there wine! ;D
-
But since everyone knows the French won't actually be able to kill a single terminator who was left to guard the wine, they surrender, with their brand new under-barrel white flag launcher
-
Then A stuka from FH2 drops a 250 kg bomb on the terminator blowing him to pieces.
-
Which probably wouldn't work
Terminators can survive Earthshaker rounds you know...
-
Having not sucessfully destroyed the terminator, the terminator begins on a rampage in Germany since thats where the plane came from.
-
But then he gets lost in the woods.
-
then he found some american paratroopers lying in some foxholes in the woods
-
the terminator asks the americans where the planes that bombed him came
-
the Americans, who are bad with geography and global positions, point to Austria ;D
-
The terminator proceeded to destroy Austria but on his way he tripped over Candlejack a guy who doesnt let you finish your senten....
-
Because he buries a Chainsword into your skull.
-
but the chainsword broke becuase the terminator is made out of a harder the stell metal and proceeds to destroy Candlejack
-
No he doesn't. Instead, both have a nice little barbeque under the crimson sky of a sunset in july.
-
Unfortunelty during the BBQ there is only one hot dog left but the both want it ;D
-
So both bite in it and gues what - they kiss each other!
-
*wedding music in the background* :o.
-
But it is suddenly interrupted by the sound of artillery...
-
As Austria fires its cannons on their wedding since they learned the terminator was going to destroy them. Everyone dies but the terminator who.....
-
Was trying to open his zippers in the WC
-
realises he has no zipper and overloads his brain/computer killing him ;D
-
but because he has a self-repair ability, the Terminator runs away to find the person who is responsible for thath attack. On his way, he meets Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was at home in Austria, having some free weeks...
-
Schwarzeneggar thinks that this is a joke and not the real terminator and ignores the terminator who threatens to kill him.
-
ANd thus the fight between machine and supersoldier begins...
-
Resulting in a useless argument about who hits the person first.
-
And when they both decide to hit each other at the same time, their punches break the space-time continuum forcing Arnold back in time, where he is pressed into service for the German Wehrmacht c.1942, while the Terminator.......
-
lands in a winter war suit in the area of Moscow. Wehrmacht Arny is part of Army Group North, preparing a strike on the Soviet capital. Sitting in an Opel Blitz and freezing in the early days of January, 1942, Arny is a part of the last backup for the battle for Moscow. On the other side, the terminator..
-
is discovered by Soviet shock guards and taken to Stalin. Stalin realizes these are the super troopers he has been looking for and......
-
And he kills the lone terminator.(?!) And then he takes his armor and minigun.
-
And becomes the Stalinator ;D
-
But the Governator finds him and using his superior fruity accent defeats him in a game of wits thus winning possession of the armor and weapons, while Stalin plans to detonate the Terminator's Hydrogen-Ion battery, but......
-
The bomb trigger breaks when Stalin presses it, making him very angry. He becomes Stalin Hulk ;D!
-
and so a majour battle began
-
And we will once again ignore Rainbow......
Stalin Hulk invites the Governator to Tea, where they decide to have a duel with 19th century Dueling Pistols. Both of them miss and they clash with Cold Steel and the battle rages until..... (hint: Mexicans!!!!)
-
Be nice to rainbow Dragon guys, that actually made sense. ;)
But the blood thirsty cartels of mexico who have felt very left out this whole time attack without warning in their lowrider's and an epic battle ensues.
-
THe three way battle rages as the Governator and his German Wehrmacht fight the Soviets with Stalin Hulk and the Mexican Cartel led by Pancho Villa. The battle rages nonstop until The Governator decides to....
-
say Asta lavista baby, your terminated which causes all the drug cartels to join his side which...
-
Scares the crap out of Stalin Hulk, turning him back to regular Stalin and he flees with his army to Russia. Governator, now fully resupplied and with cartels on his side......
-
makes Russia a democracy
Vaguely OT: Will Stalin Hulk be red or green?
-
Red when he's super angry I guess :P. Green is just moderately angry.
Back On topic:
Lenin hears this new starting news from the after world (the ghost of communist past informs him ;D) he convinces the devil to let him return to the real world for revenge. Lenin leads his army of bolsheviks from the afterworld and attacks Russia, enlisting the help of communist parties everywhere, including GSmirlis the Communist ^^. Stalin is shocked by this all and......
-
And brings out his ultimate weapon... RedGuard aka RedCommissar
-
Who is able to troll Lenin's ghost into giving Stalin control of the Communist Bolshevik Army, leading to another Battle between the Commies and the Governator, however, the American Army joins the Russians so as to destroy the Governator who by this time has conquered most of North America (except Washington D.C.) and the Eastern Coast, so
-
Governator goes back in time like the movies in order to kill Stalin and FDR when they were babies. He is about to succeed when.......
-
Another Terminator is sent back in time to kill him and it succeeds in catching him of guard and leaves his broken body in the Roosevelt Manse. His body is preserved in honey and is later used by geneticists to clone the first human. They are successful, thus a new Governator is able to take the old ones place by the time of the battle
-
But then the gouvernator wakes up being in the Matrix and is then confronted by...
-
Leon S. Kennedy and both engage in a fight to see who's tougher
-
And its a draw, resulting in....
-
THE END
-
But after years of living in a state of peace and tranquility, Governator finds himself growing increasingly displeased with his new life. His former past only adds to this, leading him to go into depression. He takes new meds, causing him to go crazy and on a killing spree. This leads to.......
-
the formation of a secret organization designed to stop him consisting of legendary warriors such as...
-
Rambo, ...
-
chuck norris...
-
chuck norris...
The justice league :P.......
-
and Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python's Holy Grails Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robo-Cop, the Terminator, Cap'n Kirk, Lo Pan SUperman, every single Power Ranger......
-
and then chuck norris was like, "what the?? hey!.... NOT AGAIN!?!?! im outta here!" and ran off into the woods, cause he figured out where this was going. ;)
-
came out lighting fast and kicked Governators robot ass (lol ultimate showdown)
Damn you stealthattack1 I was about to post >:(. Just kidding :P
-
suddendly Stalin's mother appears and hits Governator until Death and
the winner of this battle is...
-
Seeme.
-
who laughs victoriously when......
-
...he suddenly passes gas
-
and the room smells bad :P. This causes
-
DOOM!!!!! but more importantly the Chinese Premier in the next room is disgusted with America, ordering the place to be Nuked, which leads to a CoD4 like nuclear facility battle, during which some neewb survives while his entire squad is destroyed, leading to....
-
the noob to think hes all that and starts to insult his enemies while still only surviving by luck, but calling it skill, giving him a big head which
-
makes his head explode ;D. This freaks the Chinese premier out and causes him to
-
phone Barney the dinosaur for advice, which tells him...
-
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" ;D
-
the Chinese premier is unimpressed and instead calls up......
-
Thomas and Pals, (who are secretly manufactured in China), who procede to merge together forming The SUPER TRAIN-BOT, but suddenly Kim-Jong-Il......
-
Attacked America (homefront ;D)
-
then there were all the american farmers got there guns out and preceded to snipe every last korean bastard
-
so......
-
Is threatened by China's rising powers and its shift toward capitalism and decides to nuke them to the stone age
-
While in Europe Britain took over it except Russia
-
finds that it doesn't like Limeys on the other side of its border and attacks them with prototype Nano-tech enhanced Spetznaz who are able to destroy most of the British army when they decide to resurrect Churchill, and he.....
-
OT but whats a Limey
-
Limey = British
-
when churchill rose form the dead God gave him more millitary knowledge so he is able to defeat russian and take over it but they forgot about the koreans...
-
who procedded to nuke Britain. But Britains anti missile counter measures stopped them and Britian retaliated by....
-
Sending the Flying Pigeon Carrier Armada who began to drop crap bombs all over the Koreans, who then die from the Noxious fumes and acidic poop, meanwhile the Justice League.....
-
realizes the balance of power has been disrupted since the Brits now have a Pidgeon Bomber and proceed to destroy it. They board the ship and
-
it get's destroyed by a nuke :o
-
But the Green Lantern survives in his shield, and he starts a rampage, destroying the Brits and their Allies, meanwhile in 1066 AD.....
-
did we just jump time periods :o Oh well
tensions are rising and the crusades are imminent. However with all the crazy stuff happening in the future and governator time traveling, he ends up stuck in what will be france. He spots some knights and
-
the knights kill him becuase on how he is dressed and think he is the devil which causes an time wave causing...
-
family guy to never be aired, which enrages...
-
Chuck Norris who travels to the past and kills the governator before he is born, in order to prevent the aforementioned fact and enjoy family guy, then...
-
he realizes that the Simpsons are a better show. Knowing this...
-
He watches south park insted.
-
Then he goes to town and buys The Simpsons - Season 1 - 10 because he likes it more than Southpark and doesn't stand up while looking through them, so he gets fat and becomes unable to perform a roundhouse kick. Following in the order of the most awesome men in the world, ...
-
the next one in line takes advantage of Chuck Norris' TV problems and procedds to whup his ass ;D
-
Yes........ Anyway back 1066, the Great Schism occured (in 1054), with the Governator (who survived all the knights and Chuck....somehow) joining the Catholic church and becoming the Pope Gregory VII. He uses his power to promote German as the only language in the church and thus the entire modern world knows how to speak German (also considering the fact that no romance languages exist, there is no French, Italian, Spanish, Catolonian,etc.)
-
hmm... i think neosdark has an agenda here, but anyway,
because there are no romance languages Shakespeare writes all his plays in German. family guy, the Simpsons and southpark are also in German, but because of the boringness of mass people speaking German, different countries form different slang, which leads to misscomunication causing...
-
A variation of the Germanic languages known as Gerglish or Engliman ;D. Since it is more vernacular and evolves in America the German king of the 1st reich takes no initiative to stop the spread of Gerglish :P. Slowly the rest of the country adopts Gerglish and, upset with the king, plans revolution >:D
-
Well, i dunno about an agenda since I'm not German, I just have very creative mind.
Anyway, the revolution proceeds withe rebels gaining control over all of America, Southern Canada and Northern Mexico. The European rebels fail, but they soon find that the Russians are a force waiting to strike the 1st Reich, and in the year 1675, they ride in on the Bear Cavarly destroying all in their path until they find Reichsritter Chuck Norris the Grand Lord of the Reich's army......
-
watching simpson shows. Chuck Nrris doesn't notice the Russians in the room until they shut his TV off. He then gets pissed and roundhouse kicks them back to Prussia(yes i realize the diff name) ;D
-
Thus creating the legend of the Holy Saint Chuck
-
Who rules over his disiples with an iron fist and a lethal roundhouse kick ;)
-
so he moves to the north pole because he takes the saying "talking down to you" literally. when he gets there he meets santa claus and kicks him out leading to...
-
The 533rd World War with Chuck Norris leading the Reich's army against the Russians, the Italians and, Gandolf the Grey and Gandolf the White and "Monty Python Holy Grail" Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Cap'n Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Super Man, every single Power Ranger..........
Realizing that just like the 2 other times he was confronted with this threat, he will not be able to fight for the next 200 years, he decides to clone himself, thus creating the Chuck Armada, but all the Clones are different since they all had other mother hosts, thus leading to the birth of Bruce Lee, Jason Statham, Mr.T, and many other legendary fighters, with the inevitable clash occurring at Stalingrad resulting...........
-
In no more Chuck Norris :o. This phenomial leads to
-
the world having an imbalance of power and the poles are reversed. this leads to everyone going south instead of north, north instead of south. this leads to
-
a war started by the penguins at the Antarctic, they march through Argentina to conquer
south america the now called "north" america :P... While the bears army is advancing through Canada in north america south america...
-
The Polar bears try rushing the penguins since they are under the impression they are superior in all areas. However they do not realize that they are out numbered and with the help of the Penguins from the show the peguins of madagascar, the peguins now boast some impressive weaponry.
Utilizing the numerous atomic weapons left in the artic by the past US and their new weapons, the penguins quickly force the polar bears into retreat. This leads to
-
The 534th World War during which the Polar Bears resurrect Chuck Norris and he leads them to victory, however when peace ensues, the Polar Bears want to create a Fascist Empire ruled by Polar Bears only thus starting a war with all other species of Animals, but Chuck decides to recreate Earth in his image and......
-
Mother Earth suddenly grows a enormous beard :P
-
And all look upon it with reverence as the great Mother Earth and Father Beard, but Chuck is not satisfied and he decides to......
-
Give Mother Earth a enormous cowboy hat ;D
-
But then Rainbow dragon comes and kills mother nature and takes her place and since chuck can't kill rainbow dragon since he is in control of nature and if he did the world would die he leaves
-
then I come and punch Rainbow Dragon in his face because he is OP. Due to the fact that I wear a ban ring on my fist, RBD quits the Nonstop story. Then I leave. Mother earth, liberated from the terror,...
-
then I come and punch Rainbow Dragon in his face because he is OP. Due to the fact that I wear a ban ring on my fist, RBD quits the Nonstop story. Then I leave. Mother earth, liberated from the terror,...
Give you a hug :P. But maxi is crushed to death since the world is like 1000000 times bigger and heavier than you. A funeral is held on mars when aliens suddenly attack and.....
OT: why u guys keep attacking RBD :P? Im new here so....help me out :P
-
then I come and punch Rainbow Dragon in his face because he is OP. Due to the fact that I wear a ban ring on my fist, RBD quits the Nonstop story. Then I leave. Mother earth, liberated from the terror,...
Give you a hug :P. But maxi is crushed to death since the world is like 1000000 times bigger and heavier than you. A funeral is held on mars when aliens suddenly attack and.....
Seeme, their leader, expresses his condolences about my death. The attack was no attack, they only appeared in Empireal Star Destroyers because that's the only way for them to reach the Mars from Tattoine ;D
Suddenly, the peaceful atmosphere is interrupted by a deep rumble, caused by...
OT: why u guys keep attacking RBD :P? Im new here so....help me out :P
In this particular case (Nonstop story), his creativity is limited on making himself the main charakter and hero of the story and he continues to do so everytime he posts in here. ;)
-
Reminds me of the office.
-
Reminds me of the office.
Never seen that show but I'll take your word for it :P
Back On topic:
The noise comes from the Imperial Star Destroyers who release a ton of garbage into space. Little do they realize the garbage exits the ship fast and within a week or so, itcrashes into Earth, killing many.The people of Earth take this as an attack on them directly and send X-Wing fighters to destroy the Star Destoyers, lead by George W. Bush since he's retired anyways ;D ;D
-
The noise comes from the Imperial Star Destroyers who release a ton of garbage into space. Little do they realize the garbage exits the ship fast and within a week or so, itcrashes into Earth, killing many.The people of Earth take this as an attack on them directly and send X-Wing fighters to destroy the Star Destoyers, lead by George W. Bush since he's retired anyways ;D ;D
Wait - we have X-Wing fighters? Can I haz one? :D
-
While at the same time, a new force emerges, the British, form a giant armada of their own, comprised mainly of Y-Wings, TIE Fighters and their own Jury-Rigged Star Destroyer Fleet, but they forget.....
-
to take their tea
-
And since their tea fuels their ships, they end up stuck in space
Wait - we have X-Wing fighters? Can I haz one? :D
We're so lost when it comes to time in this story I don't see why we(Earth) can't have an AT-AT walker at this point ;D And if you want a X-Wing.....go to the toy store ;D ;D ;D
-
Right, so the trapped British work for about a week creating a substitute Tea, which successfully allows them to power their fleet, bu the substitute tea is made out of their precious lazer munitions so they have to return to Earth to reload.
Meanwhile Darth Insidious (See what I did there :D ) prepares an attack on the British Home World, Planet Angland (having realized their Germanic roots they quickly become more German like), thus starting the FIRST INTERGALACTIC SPACE WAR.......
-
Meanwhile Darth Insidious (See what I did there :D )
I did see what you did there :P
Darth Sidious brings in the Death Star but when he tries to fire it, it says out of coffee, so he instead invades Earth, specifcally targeting Starbucks. As he takes Stabucks by Starbucks.......
-
The Brits fire and destroy Earth with their Tea Lazer, killing Insidious and pummeling the Death Star with Molten Hot Magma and Rocks, thus leaving it in its Episode VI state.
-
while the british take the rest of their civilisation on a giant space station called the ARK which they travel in for many years to find another home for them
-
And eventually find the aliens still in their Star destroyers. Despite the fact their primary objective was to destroy them, they are too weak to do so and instead decide to live with them.
-
20 Censored years later. The species have all intermarried (more or less) but suddenly a reincarnated Chuck Norris decides the world is too peaceful, creating a new army, sets of too conquer Planet Angland..........
-
What is up with you guys and Chuck Norris :P? Anyways,
But he is unable to get to Earth (or Planet Angland) since the Aliens refuse to give him a ship to use.
-
So he decides to SCREW THE POLICE, and builds a craft out of spare parts, thus creating the new generation C&C (dunno how but he is Chuck) and launching his armada to take over Angland.....
-
But considering his ships do not move too fast since they consisit of spare parts, the people of Angland have time to evacuate and leave a trap before the armada arrives
-
But Chucks superior tacticians know of their weakness and plan for the evacuation instead ambushing the Anglanders in deep space and capturing most if not all of their supply ships, thus leaving them with only a days supply of food and drink.
-
but the people of Angland had a backup plan which half of the supply ships were hidden on the nearest planet and so they continued there voyage meanwhile...
-
The aliens decide to help the Anglands so they steal the supplies back from Chuck's armada
-
the Anglands find a new home and colonise the planet calling it New Angland
-
And they live peacefully in New Angland for years to come.
-
Meanwhile, back in the days of the Crusades, Pope Arnold the Holiest of the Holy (Even more so than Jesus), decides to fund experiments for the creation of (pre-Industrial Era) machine guns. Using his knowledge from the future he successfully creates a Gatling Gun, and later a Hand Held Gatling Gun for mounting on his steed, the FIAT 1100 AD. With his near unstoppable army he decides to embark on quest to "Arnoldize" the entire Middle East.......
-
......back in the days of the Crusades.......decides to fund experiments for the creation of (pre-Industrial Era) machine guns. ......creates a Gatling Gun
Ummm I think the idea of gun powder must first be brought to Euro :P
creates a Gatling Gun, and later a Hand Held Gatling Gun for mounting on his steed, the FIAT 1100 AD
You mean this ;D?
Anyways, his horses(or camels) soon become tired of dragging around gatling guns. Saladin(general) sees this and attacks Pope Arnolds forces, suffering heavy casualties but forces Arnold force to retreat and Soloman captures some gatling guns for himself.
-
......back in the days of the Crusades.......decides to fund experiments for the creation of (pre-Industrial Era) machine guns. ......creates a Gatling Gun
Ummm I think the idea of gun powder must first me brought to Euro :P
creates a Gatling Gun, and later a Hand Held Gatling Gun for mounting on his steed, the FIAT 1100 AD
You mean this ;D?
Anyways, his horses(or camels) soon become tired of draggign around gatling guns. Soloman(general) sees this and attacks Pope Arnolds forces, suffering heavy casualties but forces Arnold force to retreat and Soloman captures some gatling guns for himself.
No man he designs a car for his army, thus they do not tire, since they run on pig manure (which they have plenty of) and are built of iron. They have special wooden wheels covered in designed just for desert travel...
The army retaliates seizing back the Captured Gatling Guns (and gunpowder has existed since approx. 9th century AD in China, from where it spread first to India and the Middle East and then to Europe). and destroying the Arabs standing in front of him, then........
-
I dont think gunpowder was used as a firearm until 14 century by Euro forces. It was used as a fire arm in India IIRC but when China got it it was for fireworks or missle batteries(not very effective though ;))
@neosdark: How did he uhhh.....you know.....the pope and all...... get a.....CAR?!?!?! XD
Okay so Saladin realizes conventional military tactics will not work and decideds to ambush them. Pope Arnold moves toward Jerusalem when he is suddenly ambushed by Saladin and his Turk force. Arnold escapes with a few of his generals and men and Saladin gets ore gatling guns. He decideds its not enough to just capture them and starts copying them. His army, now armed fully armed with gatling guns........
-
Is suddenly destroyed by a Meteor impacting and destroying his entire camp, killing almost all the men other than himself and his Guard. Arnold sees this as some kind of Divine Intervention and upon convincing Saladin of this, Saladin converts to Buddhism not wishing to ever serve Arnold AND SO.....
-
Pope Arnold resumes his campaign for the Middle East
-
But He falls on a rock and dies. Then...
-
The crusaders and their camels are unsure what to do. So they go bacj home :P
-
But then suddenly an armada of Chinese Dragons come from the sky attacking the Crusaders and killing half of them and destroying their Gatling Cars (THEY AREN'T CAMELS DAMN IT), so they decide to set up camp for the night and recover their Gatling guns when..........
-
They are camels if you believe they are ^^
the chinese dragons launch their missle batteries at the crusaders. It doesn't kill anyone but it burns their camps down
-
So the crusaders make another one. Duh.
-
So the Chinese bomb them again. Duh
-
And this continues untill both parties tire and a crusader decides to make friends with the dragons thus giving birth to Dragon Riders, super powerful knights whos steeds are dragons (that live forever) and they set out to conquer Mexico (for some wierd reason) and thus run in to..........
-
navigation problems. They end up in canada and
-
find Rainbow Dragon's hiding place
-
Grateful that Rainbow Dragon didn't make himself op, he and Rainbow...
-
try finding Mexico on the map. Rainbow accidentally points to Brazil and they sail there
-
Which meant that...( Couldn't think of anything)
-
Which also means (still waiting for someone to continue^^)..........
-
which really now means...
-
That they fail In geography while Tankbuster passes with flying colors
-
Since TB is so good at geography they recruit him and the dragon riders and RB finally find Mexico and....
-
Mexico moved to SA.
-
wow. i dont check this post for a couple days and now i dont know what the heck is going on.
-
We all don't know what is going on.
-
anyway I decide we go and take over great britain
-
But Cromwell steps in with his army of Cromwell Tanks and stops the dragons dead in their tracks. Anyway, the Mexicans were amazed to find dragons flying overhead so they decide to worship them and in their gratitude the dragons teach them how to make chinampas and how to properly sacrifice to the gods (which is why the Aztecs had all gods as some kind of serpent), but meanwhile Pope Arnold II (The previous Arnold's son) decides to try taking over Germany with his Gatling cars leading to a weird battle between Tanks, Germans, Vikings, Austrians, Mexicans, Kazakhs (god knows how they got here) and Dragons with the result being.........
-
But Cromwell steps in with his army of Cromwell Tanks and stops the dragons dead in their tracks. Anyway, the Mexicans were amazed to find dragons flying overhead so they decide to worship them and in their gratitude the dragons teach them how to make chinampas and how to properly sacrifice to the gods (which is why the Aztecs had all gods as some kind of serpent), but meanwhile Pope Arnold II (The previous Arnold's son) decides to try taking over Germany with his Gatling cars leading to a weird battle between Tanks, Germans, Vikings, Austrians, Mexicans, Kazakhs (god knows how they got here) and Dragons with the result being.........
-Wait I thought this was 1100 AD, how are there tanks? :P
-Since when did Pope Arnold get married ???
-If Aztecs weren't sacrificing properly to the gods then why are they still alive ;)
-Germany wasn't considered Germany at the time. :o
-Austrians? I don't think they were called that either :-\
-How did the Mexcians get to present day Germany :-\
-In conclusion to this and the previous post:
wow. i dont check this post for a couple days and now i dont know what the heck is going on.
(http://i53.tinypic.com/qybep0.jpg)
-
No Austrians were in fact Austrians by then, Germans is a people, but there are many different types such as Bavarian, Prussians, etc. all depending on where they are from. So a person from Saxony is a German from Saxony thus also a Saxon, while a German from Pomerania is a Pomeranian (at least I think that's how it used to work, not too much so anymore considering it is one nation, but some people do still divide themselves by the ancient state names. Some groups still hate each other, not too sure exactly which ones)
Arnold is just awesome, he cloned himself.
Tanks are debatable, supposedly Da Vinci invented some kind of Renascence tank.
Anyway screw the rules I HAVE GREEN HAIR.
-
LOL Yu-Gi-Oh Abriged reference ^^
-
anyway back to the story RainbowDragon has been working on a doomesday device which is a LASER CANNON IN SPACE!!!!!! ;D and so defeats everyone in the world and becomes the mighty ruler of earth and looks to conquer Mars
-
... in his extremely lucid dream caused by...
-
Cats.
-
+ a hernia
-
And he in fact wakes up to find himself on a space ship and he is strapped to a chair with a lazer getting ready to cut up his body......
-
When a monkey ninja knocks the laser out :P
-
The Laser spins in the air...
-
And kills the monkey, making him gone from the story. Then, he
-
says to himself, wow. seeme doesnt like monkeys. he opens the star trek style doors at the back of the room and sees...
-
the monkey which turned into a zombie but suddenly...
-
Rainbow Dragon eats the monkey since he hasn't eaten in days :P
-
And then automatically becomes a zombie who speaks only gibberish and starts to wreck havoc aboard the ship until........
-
his zombie batteries die out and RD is left to sit there and gather dust.
-
leaving the readers of this epic tale to wonder, whose ship is this anyways, and where are they?
-
*turns the page*
Gasp! The owner of this ship is none other than Mr.Frogger! Tired of being run over by cars all day long he decided to pimp his ride ;D. Lets see who gets run over now ^-^
-
But since his ship uses Hover technology he cannot run over anything. This causes him to get depressed...
-
......turn off the engine, and crash into a highway, killing hundreds
-
IN SPACE
-
AND IN 3D ;D
-
Thus Tankbuster removes his 3D glasses as he notices thet they got dirty during the crash and...
-
Sees that frogger survives, but is no longer depressed since he destroyed something ;D
-
meanwhile RainbowDragon lost his CoH game to a virus ( i'm serieous!) and goes into a Rage >:( then find's himself in the game called RAGE
-
and gets pwned by frogger since years of being in a videogame have made him god like a other games ;D
-
but due to RainbowDragon's happines that he managed to reinstall CoH again he came back to life and killed frogger in revenge and went back to playing on CoH. Meanwhile with hitler...
-
hitler is playing frogger and suddenly his frog dies for no apparent reason. He is enraged and throws a molotov cocktail at his neighboors house :P
-
with happens to be russia, which starts the eastern front...
-
I never realized Hitler could throw bottles 600miles far ;D
Anyways russia decides to get revenge and gives each soldier a molotov cocktail. But being russians they drink it and then they have no weapons and retreat. Hitler laughs at them when
-
He forgets that he a waist deep in snow. He then...
-
gets stuck
-
in his mind about how he is going to kill Russia. He decides
-
to burn Russia. But then he hears something...
-
oh, its a toilet flushing. he then resumes his devious planning...
-
But realizes he's out of toilet paper due to war time rationing
-
So he escapes to Switzerland
-
But suddenly a russian spy finds him and exterminates him!
-
The spy then reports back to Stalin who is very pleased. He then sends the spy......
-
Who Is Hitler W/O his mustache
-
And stabs Stalin to death b4 he can relay his orders to his fake spy.
-
Which enrages baby Putin, who forms the KGB and Spetsnaz to protect communist Russia from the Nazis.
-
So then when Nazis invade to destroy all of Russia..
-
Tankbuster guffaws.
-
Because he smoked too much of the green stuff, which he got from..
-
Hooray someone decided to continue this :D
Baby Putin, who is now in his teenage years looking for......
-
Women and booze. He stumbles upon a mosh pit and decides to take part in the brawl. His opponent is......
-
President Ronald Regan who decided to take a vacation to russia and some how ended up in a mosh pit :P
-
To much booze, ehh. Anyway Reagan beats Putin into the ground with his Reagan Smash and
-
is about to be announced victorious when putin oulls out a PPSH and guns Regan down
-
with his dying breath, reagen whips out a colt six shooter and fills putin with lead
-
But unfortunetly for regan putin was wearing a bullet proof vest he got for christmas
-
seeing that their political war was senseless, they had a stroll together and reagen died in piece.
-
Regan was buried and Putin attended his funeral. The precesion was interupted by.......
-
Zombie Napolean Bonaparte. Remembering his invasion of Russia, he...
-
Tell his soldiers to wear fur coats :P. He proceeds to
-
fail in invading Russia because his soldiers are still French thus are unable to actually shoot bullets out of their guns. All they are able to accomplish is to put up the White Flag of France and surrender to the superior Russian forces now armed with spud guns (finding that guns aren't of need against les frenchies) Now Zombie Napoleon attempts to.....
-
...die
-
Zombie Napoleon points a gun at himself and fires. But is smacked in the face with a potato. Napoleon is knocked into his senses and invades France
@neosdark: Not too fond of frenchie are ya? ;)
-
which he conquers within 2 days with his French zombie armada (only thing the French can fight is the French). He then proceeds to proclaim himself president for 4 years and then when his term is over he explodes because he got too fat from sitting on his ass all day. Meanwhile in Tibet........
-
Seeme and his assault squad, consisting of the insane scientist Fish, the über-armed madman Tankbuster and himself as group leader, try to invade a temple. In this temple, there is sayd to be a...
-
...a skull that causes people to Levitate when they drink out of it.
-
So the group sets out and are surprised to find no one guarding the temple. They quickly clear all 235 floors but discover no skull, only a message on ze wall written in yak feces stating......
-
That ze secret skull is hidden under dead Putin's royal throne, which is preciding in France.
@Maxi: I like how Im the "mad scientist" ;D
-
they journey to france in a stolen zepplin
@neosdark, yes!! someone who thinks the same about the french like myself!
-
and land on top of the Eifel Tower. They then.....
French arent that bad :P
-
spontaneously combust and jump of the Eiffel while the Putin Imperial Police surround the tower but then suddenly Kim Jong Il dies and Putin sends his soldiers to conquer North Korea, thus
-
Seeme, Tankbuster, assault squad orange, and Me entered the palace undetected :P
-
then they click their cloak buttons.
-
But as they get close to the skull an alarm triggers and security drones rush to where we are
-
but they too spontaneously combust and explode, thus allowing the heroes (?) to retrieve the skull and then suddenly it too combusts creating mass panic and....
-
the public begin converging on the placae. The heroes(assualt team orange :P) escape via helicopter and go back to headquarters
-
which spontaneously explodes on you just as you land outside of it. They then attempt to.......
-
rebuild hq since everythng seems to been spontaneously exploding :P
-
And then suddenry Kim Jong-Un emerges and attacks you with his army
-
But tankbuster boobytraps the army blowing it to bits. Then he heads to the nearest WC.
-
Kim Jong Um fires his nukes but Fish and Seeme activate the US' counter misssle counter measures, effectively stopping the missles. In order to deal with the ground forces, Tankbuster......
-
charges towards Kim Jong-Un who spontaneously combusts along with his army, leaving a a surprised Tankbuster surrounded by Putin's French Armada. However ever since Putin took over they had been winning so the renamed themselves the Imperial Burgundian Army of Russia to avoid being made fun of for being French. Anyway the surrounded Tankbuster is captured and dragged into a tent where he spontaneously combusts.....
-
and takes Putin with him. The new Imperial army is unsure what to do and.....
@neosdark: Whats with you and spontaneous combustion these days ;D?
-
Then due to a compex titration Tankbuster's brain in recovered which is placed in a f*cking amazing KINGTIGER 5000.
Thus the imperial army beats a retreat lead by their new ad-hoc general
NEOSDARK *ominous music.*......
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOxpwP8aUZ8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOxpwP8aUZ8)
Indeed, and after our retreat I introduce my secret weapon, the Combustion Button which I keep tightly clamped betwixt my buttcheeks :-X
We then board our new prototype tanks, the T-124 Voroshilov and the M3A2 Schwarzkopf Tanks and attack the KT 5000 with minor losses (about 500 men) we destroy it and I remove Tankbusters brain and insert it into a Deep Sleep pod, thus taking him out of the fray. Then I lead my troops to attack Mongolia and we succeed. Meanwhile in Atlantis...
-
They want to take Mongolia, and starts a battle.
-
Meanwhile the combustion button falls from Neo's buttcheeks and causes his senior staff to spontaneously combust. The remainder of his army take defensive positions to support Mongolian forces.
-
MAH BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeme invades Atlantis with his army while I repel the Atlantian army with my rocket powered fist. Thus Seeme becomes Emperor of Atlantis while I travel to Alpaca Land to become a hermit.........
-
where neosdark encounters fish who was disbanded from Seeme's army for being to fishy :P. Together we form an army of mechanical alpacas and attack Atlantis
-
I retire to the mountains and stay there until the Hero of Chaos seeks me out. Meanwhile Japan rebuilds its Samurai army and creates an unrivaled technically advanced army and with it they attack and destroy China (which is what America needs to do about now )
-
Japan fails to destroy China but seeing that China is weak, the US finishes them off, making them the top world power once more.
-
Ahh that would be a nice future
-
But their economy tanks....
-
And then quickly recovers as people finally understand that equality is impossible and that a lower class must exist for a healthy economy and for the good of the nation. Thus American factories are reactivated and people from across the world are surprised at how nice we treat our factory workers.
-
Due to his awesomeness neosdark is elected GENERAL4LIFE...
-
Only for the U.S to be invaded by:
Aliens.
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk8evdSSas1qjtfpzo1_400.jpg)
-
And then quickly recovers as people finally understand that equality is impossible and that a lower class must exist for a healthy economy and for the good of the nation. Thus American factories are reactivated and people from across the world are surprised at how nice we treat our factory workers.
Capitalist! (activating commie blasters. Charging all lazers)
The US tries nuking the aliens but it fails. So the US pretends to surrender while they build anti alien guns in secrecy :P
-
And then I find my old Spontaneous Combustion button in my spare pair of pants. I press it and the entire Alien Fleet spontaneously combusts and explodes leaving me victorious
-
Only to get hit by a meteor, causing neosdark to explode :P
-
WRONG, I survive cause at the last moment i used my combustion button to Combust it away
-
Before neosdark can push that button again the button explodes so neosdark can not longer combust :P. Distraut, he goes soul searching, only to find......
-
sugar fo' mah pancakes!!!!!!!!!
-
Just as neos is about to eats his hot cakes a talking kangaroo comes over and takes them, hoping away into the sunset
-
Neosdark is so mad he makes another combustion button, only for it to fail because if he uses it once again he would become the next rainbow dragon.
-
Hrmm I wouldn't mind 4000 attack points XD
-
I push the button, combusting Seeme in the process and evolve into Rainbow Dragon and thus gain 4000 ATK points
RUN COWARDS!!!
-
The new Yu-Gi-Oh cards are so OP compared to the old ones ::)
Once Seeme falls, neos realizes the error of his ways and goes hiding in cave, contemplating life.
Meanwhile the Kangaroo delivers the pancakes to his evil master who happens to have a super weapon thats fueld by pancakes. He takes the gun and
-
fires it but what he doesn't know is that the sugar I found was in fact crystal meth, and it explodes. Meanwhile I evolve in my cave and become Slifer the Executive Producer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK9mcmCK9Vc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK9mcmCK9Vc)
-
Do they even make yu-gi-oh abriged episodes anymore? I think they stopped at like 43 or something :P
Slifer is about to attack tokyo(like godzilla) when suddenly king kong jumps out of nowhere and bashes silfers head iinto pieces. King kong is about to celebrate when suddenly he slips on blood and drowns in the water
-
They are up to episode 53 I think Fish.
And then suddenry I rise from the blood pool cause I'm a God Card :P I proceed to destroy Tokyo then fly over the Sea of China and burn down most of Vietnam but suddenly
-
Neosdark loses his card and gets stuck in Fukushima
-
And Seeme stands up and takes the card. 4000 points!
-
The card crumbles to dust before his very eyes
-
So seeme goes and buys some new cards
-
but he is short on change and as a result has to buy a lot of pokemon cards as well.
-
Doesnt short on change mean he doesnt have enough money? Why would he buy additional pokemon cards? :P
Anyways Seeme takes the cards and goes to play in a tournament and
-
and gets pwned by burro.
-
Burro is named champion and Seeme goes homw disgraced.
-
But I come by his place and console him and offer him a chance to redeem himself in a Shadow Children's Card Game. I furnish him with a new deck and he has to defeat Burro with it, but suddenry
-
The evil guy with the pancake gun fires and the deck covered in syrup and rendering it unuseable
-
Hmm I thought he was dead. Well anyway I fly in and finish him off.....
-
You destroyed his pancake gun, not him
As neosdark flies in the evil guys kangaroo comes in and walabie kicks neosdark to the other side of the planet, causing him to black out. The kangaroo then kill the evil guy and set off to build a small legion of death smurfs. The kangaroo unleashes his death smurfs on.....
-
Seeme, and I decide that I should wake up right at that moment and go cry in a cave in Australia instead of helping him.....
-
Seeme is upset by this and joins you in the cave. However you 2 discovr that there is a secret weapon in the cave called.......
-
Tankbuster!
-
Tankbust pulls out two panzershrecks since he has 7 command points and fires them at the kangaroo. The rockets fly in the air and
-
Bust the tank?
-
land inside the kangaroos killing all on board.
-
then pionneers eat the remains of the kangaroo
-
And poop munitions
-
The pioneers then use the muni to buy a flame thrower. But they csnt decide who gets to use it so one of them shoots the other, takes the flamer, and goes on a rampage burning stuff up
-
Then Suddnly Zombie Rommel, who came from the very start of this topic, came and took the flame thrower, saying...
-
And said "damn it why have you guys forgotten me?!?!" and pointed the flame thrower at them
-
but it misfired and the compressed gases leaked from the broken flamer causing GLOBAL WARMING
-
Now Zombie Rommel must fix global warming. Unsure what to do, he......
-
Calls forth the frozen winds on the north.
-
But now the Global temperature drops and Ice Age like things start to occur causing
-
Increase in woolen sales.
-
Suddenly clothing prices rise, cause numerous economic changes
-
Thus pushing the US into another recession
-
aqnd also the increase in nude colonies, because people just dont want to pay..
-
and so then they have a naked water gun fight....
-
And water gun prices rise. Suddenly water guns become a luxury :P
-
and then eating shit becomes a lifestyle :D
-
but then peole get sick of it and decide to learn how to make real food again
-
They call it: Soylent Green
-
But Soylent Green starts to make people violent and soon random riots pop u everywhere
-
Suddenly Fish enters the scene from a river, shaking the water from his wet fish body, when...
-
Explosion
(Wait...wrong thread?)
-
Suddenly Fish enters the scene from a river, shaking the water from his wet fish body, when...
oO
Fish decides to swim in the nearby lake when suddenly....
Explosion
(Wait...wrong thread?)
Yah, go to random word :P (which has been inactive for a while now :()
-
He discovers that he has lungs
-
So fish decides to go to the city and see whats he's been missing
-
Coincidentally, the city he went in was Stalingrad where stubborn battles were fought. Standing there, gaping with his milky fish eyes, he attracts the attention of the German troups and is put in a Wehrmacht uniform. From now on, he is called Wehr Fishy. An officer passes by and hands a gun over to him, a...
-
Nebelwerfer, fish uses his superior wehr tactics and takes over Stalingrad.
-
Sitting alone in Pavlovs House, he becomes bored and eventually starts to fap..
-
after 45min of trying to climix fish is fineally almost there when a ...
-
A bunch of Soviet troops led by Sgt. Pavlov find him, take him prisoner and send him to Siberian gulag where he must work to gather gold for the motherland. While there he meets.....
-
Sitting alone in Pavlovs House, he becomes bored and eventually starts to fap..
after 45min of trying to climix fish is fineally almost there when a ...
Ehhhh wtf is going on here? oO
......Stalin. Apparently he was never killed, just secretly deported by Khrushchev who changed his face so no one would recognize him. The two.......
-
..start fapping. While enjoying themselves, they are spied on by Tankbuster in the role of a German Sniper. Being irritated by the scene, he doesn't know whether to shoot or not. Meanwhile, Wehr Fishy..
-
Sneaks out of the gulag while Stalin distracts TB with his "actions". Fish then escapes to.....
-
Soviet Occupied Korea, from where he kills Kim Il-sung, and takes over his role as leader of the DPRK. While in charge of Korea he faps some more but, suddenry....
-
While in charge of Korea he faps some more but, suddenry....
WHy does this seem to be the focal point of what Fish does :P ?
....Suddenly Stalin pops out of nowhere, upset by the fact I left him in the gulag with TB. Fish grabs for....
-
...Stalins Lenin and together they start fapping. While doing so, an earthquake interrupts them, caused by...
-
A super sized hydrogen bomb that has been dropped a couple of miles away. Fish and Stalin jump on a plane and escape to
-
Canada, where Bacon-armed Canadian Infantry Sections...
-
Begin to douse us in syrup. We grab our pancakes and
-
and run away, hijacking a plane and flying it to Amsterdam where Fish and Stalin find a safe room and FAP until Stalin dies.
With his friend dead Fish......
-
decides to invent a machine that can bring people back to life. Unfortunately this back fires and Frankenstalin is born. Frankenstalin attacks the city of.......
-
..faptown, where millions of friendly, peaceful fapping people live. Fish, deperate and sad because of what he'd done, tries to Stop Frankenstalin and gets out his Nebel
fapperwerfer..
-
I am some what disturbed by this association of fapping to fish :P
....but due to the Nebelwerfer's inaccuracy, fish misses Frankstalin, who by now has figured out how to use modern weapons. He picks up a AK-47 and.....
-
And breaks it across his head because he doesn't need it. He finds a nearby gun store and gets the largest gun in there, a 40mm Bofors (don't ask how it got in there) which he deploys on the roof of the Fapping Tower (Phallic shaped as I'm sure you can imagine) and locks it down there. He proceed to shoot at Fish who is hiding in a strip club (fapping of course) and......
-
.....blows the strip clubs to pieces. As chunks of building and lingerie fly everywhere fish escapes underground. He makes his way out of the underground sewer system and....
-
Gets caught in Tankbuster's net.
-
As TB drags fish away, Frankenstalin appears. He sees TB (who he remembers from the gulag) and attacks him. Fish seizes the opportunity and escapes to his hideout where he gets a RPG. He uses it to......
-
Blow up Frankenstalin.
-
Both TB and Fish decide to attend Frankenstalin's funeral. As they both mourn the lost of their comrade......
-
Maxi appears and starts fapping
-
TB and Fish join him and they do a circle jerk. When they finish and clean up, Fish heads to the Atlantic Ocean, while TB spontaneously combusts and burns to a crisp. Maxi also vanishes into thin air. When Fish arrives he...
-
Finds Atlantis City and tell the Atlantians about he society. They are curious and decided to go visit. Fish and friends go to a beach and on arrival....
-
Fap..... after that they find a nice abandoned house and stay for the night.
-
In the house Fish and the Atlantians play poker. The Atlantians find this extremely fun and profitable and create their own casino called Atlantis City. Fish decideds to visit and finds....
-
a lovely Casino called Fappingtons, the prime thing to do there, Fap away. As he enters he feels an urge to fap and enters one of the private rooms where he finds...
-
A zebra. He decides to take the zebra to
-
the bathroom where they....
-
Both find a giraffe. Fish is started to get more confused so he takea the zebra and the giraffe to the Park where they play on the jungle gym. Suddenly.....
-
A elephant came.
-
An elephant came.
And began to trample everyone in the park. Suddenry Kim Jong-Il......
-
Attacked The Grorious republic of China with his Grorious army
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But then realized that he built all of his defenses facing South Korea, not China. So China
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Decided to sent mole people armed with pistols to take over North Korea
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Which failed miserably and allowing Kim Jong-Il to counter attack with flying pigeon carriers who crap all over China decimating the infrastructure and killing off the crop yield.
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In order to not stare to death the Chinese capture and domesticate the pigeons. They raise an army of them strapped with bombs to North Korea and
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Due to pigeon stupidity they return to the pigeon base in China where they blow up
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The Chinese realize they must stop using animals and they invade North Korea with actual troops.
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There, little Kim Jong-Il starts to cry because his beautiful little land was invaded. He decides to hold a speach in front of his people:
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Where the Chinese shoot him in the stomach because his crappy little nation cannot manufacture bulletproof fiberglass or Kevlar. Since he had a large breakfast he dies from sepsis. Thus the mole king takes over and....
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Renames the country Moletopia. He formally request South Korea to take the "South" off their name.
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And then
South Korea had a party.
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They partied so hard they all passed out for 3 days
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Only the South Koreans returned from the party, since the moles died of liver failure. Korea is quickly reunited and the world is about to go back to normal when...
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A mega Tsunami crashes into Korea.
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And takes the dead moles away. Happy that they no longer have to clean them up...
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The Japanese save lots of money on the brooms they would have bought