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Author Topic: In soviet russia jokes  (Read 171803 times)

Offline Versedhorison

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #75 on: March 20, 2010, 05:33:52 AM »

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Offline ford_prefect

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #76 on: March 20, 2010, 08:53:32 AM »
Actually it should be ASCAP they hold copyright laws and have some blokes in black suits in fancy cars come outside your house at 3 AM if you do download something wrongly XD. Lol no I have a friend who works for them they send agents everywhere he gota kick because he was an "agent" meaning he would go to places and sell the the rights to play songs. It was a good pick up line at bars "you know im an Agent  ;)"

Offline Pauly3

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #77 on: March 22, 2010, 05:42:03 PM »
well,
in Soviet Russia comp stomps you!
"But risk has always been an inescapable part of warfare."
Grand Admiral Thrawn

Offline Hpt.Berger

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #78 on: March 22, 2010, 11:47:26 PM »
well,
in Soviet Russia comp stomps you!

+1 
Especially on hard and expert settings!
"Only happy people have nightmares, from overeating. For those who live a nightmare reality, sleep is a black hole, lost in time, like death." - Guy Sajer, The Forgotten Soldier

Offline Versedhorison

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #79 on: March 23, 2010, 02:01:41 AM »

this is truely an epic reversal.

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Offline UeArtemis

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #80 on: March 24, 2010, 03:45:43 PM »
As Russians say about themselves: Russians do not surrender. ;D
I believe in one thing only, the power of the human will. © Joseph Stalin

Offline Akalonor

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #81 on: March 24, 2010, 10:18:34 PM »
In Soviet Mordor, Nazgul run from You!
Molly: " It's our rock garden"
Dwight: "What are you farming, Bullcrap?"

You Are a Rebel Spy and a traitor to the Empire!
~Darth Vader

Any typos found may be given to Seeme.

Offline UeArtemis

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #82 on: March 27, 2010, 06:44:39 PM »
In the U.S.A workers work to be paid.
In communist China workers paid to work.
I believe in one thing only, the power of the human will. © Joseph Stalin

Offline Akalonor

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #83 on: March 29, 2010, 06:52:29 AM »
In soveit Russia, post button click on you.
Molly: " It's our rock garden"
Dwight: "What are you farming, Bullcrap?"

You Are a Rebel Spy and a traitor to the Empire!
~Darth Vader

Any typos found may be given to Seeme.

Offline ford_prefect

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #84 on: March 29, 2010, 02:12:16 PM »
In soveit Russia, post button click on you.
glad to see the guy that I "trolled" on back  ;D guess what? I wouldn't mind the Finish now, if it meant the Spaniards wouldn't get a whole bloody army in the game

Offline Artillerist

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #85 on: April 10, 2010, 10:13:54 PM »
7 Wonders of Socialism:

1. Everyone had a place of work.
2. Despite the fact that everyone had a place of work, no one worked.
3. Despite the fact that no one worked, the needed norm was performed on 100%
4. Despite the fact that the norm was performed on 100%, all shops and stores were empty.
was.
5. Despite the fact that the shops had nothing, people had all what they want.
6. Despite the fact that  people had all what they want, all were stealing all from each other.
7. Despite the fact that all were stealing, all people had all things anough for them.

:)
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94th Guards Infantry Division, 100th Separated Anti-Tank Artillery Divizion.

Offline cephalos

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #86 on: April 10, 2010, 10:47:04 PM »
I know one or two jokes, but it's hard to translater from russian to english, nut I'll try:

Soviet Union, Vladiwostok -Moscow railroad. Two russians are sitting in one compartment and smoking. Suddenly one of them asks: Where are you going? Because I travel from Moscow to Nowosibirsk. The second russian look at him strangely and answers: no way! I'm travelling from Nowosibirsk to Moscow! After one minute of silence the first of them says: Bloody hell, and this is what they call famous soviet technology!

Soviet Union, Kremlin. After long conference Molotov leave Stalin's office and says: Moustached asshole! Then he realises that a guardsman is hearing him - who do you mean, comrade Molotov? Molotov answers -... I... well... this moustached asshole Hitler! For this guarsman - I don't believe you. We are going to comrade Stalin now!
In Stalin's office guardsmen says - Comrade Stalin, comrade Molotov said "Moustached Asshole". Stalin looked at the Molotov and asked: who did you mean? - Of course this moustached asshole Hitler, comrade Stalin - whines Molotov.
-Good, Molotov, good. And you, comrade guardsman, who did you mean?
« Last Edit: April 10, 2010, 11:01:00 PM by cephalos »

Offline Pauly3

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #87 on: April 13, 2010, 10:29:21 AM »
i have a similar one.
1968 Tschech capital.
a lot of people in the metro.one man goes: because of those dogs my family starves, cause of those dogs i dont have a job, because of those dogs my cosin died!!!
Two men from the secret police arrest him and bring him to the station. then they question him: who did you mean when you said those dogs?? the man goes: the capitalists, who did you mean?? ::)
"But risk has always been an inescapable part of warfare."
Grand Admiral Thrawn

Offline Panzer4life

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #88 on: April 13, 2010, 06:24:20 PM »
A few Soviet Russia jokes;

In soviet Russia, hookers buy you!
in soviet Russia, the president kills you!
In soviet Russia, drugs do you!

And now, a new Russian-related joke i have just made up;

Two Russian Sergeants were playing cards and smoking cigars when their Commanding Officer came in.
'What are you doing comrades?' asked the CO.
"We are playing cards and smoking" replied the first Sergeant. The second Sergeants looks at the first, then at the Co. he pulls out his pistol and shoots the other Sergeant. The CO looks at him.
"Why did you do that?"
"Cause he was Capitalist for gambling away from the state," the sergeant said.
No one can stop the German panzer divisions.

Offline ford_prefect

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Re: In soviet russia jokes
« Reply #89 on: April 13, 2010, 11:37:21 PM »
lol  ;D